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Puzzles: why they're so often terrible, and how we can improve them

Today I want to talk to you about puzzles and riddles. I will use both terms more or less interchangeably, but hopefully it won’t hinder comprehension.
Here is a story that we, as DMs, have all been told, or even told ourselves:
“I devised this obvious, simple puzzle for my players, and it took the whole session just for them to put the goddamn gemstone into the gemstone-shaped hole on the wall! There was even a riddle, where the hole is, that explained it all! How can they not solve something so basic?”
And then many laughs are being had about the seemingly boundless ignorance of our players. Often, the conversation then moves to other topics of eternal wisdom, usually about how bards are horny and rogues are chaotic stupid.
But personally, there have been two constants in my life as a DM: every time I crafted an obvious puzzle, it was the most elegant, beautifully brought enigma that yet was still a fun and engaging challenge for my players (who all love me); and every time I laid eyes on someone else’s puzzle, it was the most far-reaching, incomprehensible mess I ever had the displeasure to lay eyes on, and I wept for the poor players that had to trudge through it.
Okay, fair. I have a knack for hyperbole but you get my point. Why is it that what we all feel betrayed by puzzles and riddles, and that even basic “put the blue stone on the blue pedestal” concepts can take hours? After all, no one around the table is braindead, and one of your players even once solved the riddle of how to carry a king-size mattress on the highway when driving a Kia, so this should be easy and enjoyable… So why is it so often not?
Well, here’s my (long) take on it: riddles are generally bad and go against the very grain of D&D (or RPG in general), and we should avoid them, save for a few cases.
Let’s elaborate.
Cultural considerations
This is not my main point, but it’s something worth a detour. Now, some people DM for their group of friends that have known each other since fifth grade, and for whom you can write a riddle only in Backstreet Boys lyrics and everyone will catch on in half a second. These groups certainly exist, but I doubt they’re the majority. Especially as our hobby - nay, way of life - expands and our community grows, more and more people end up playing with people who are not necessarily super-extra-bestest of friends; more often than not these days, your D&D group is a hodge-podge of interested colleagues, friends from college you don’t have much else in common with, partner of friend who wanted to check it out, and so on. You may kind of know these people, but you probably don’t know every single thing they’ve read or heard in their life. And that’s a mistake I have seen many DMs make: they base their riddles (or puzzles) around cultural assumptions that are simply not shared. Do not assume that your players know the same books, shows, movies, or even words than you! Yes, writing a riddle as a Tom Bombadil song is a fun idea, and hints that maybe these yellow boots in the corner of the room are important, but many people have only seen the movies; some others are simply not familiar with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien in general. That doesn’t make them bad people, and they shouldn’t be punished for it.
If I take my example (arguably a bit extreme), I am an international grad student DMing for other grad students (some of them also international, from other countries). There are some cultural overlaps, of course - even my corner of the world knows what a Seinfeld is - but there are many, many elements of mainstream American culture that to me are just a vague blip on the cultural radar, and certainly outside. If you introduce a character who’s a burly dude in a flannel shirt called Po’hl Bhünyan, I’m not going to get it and neither will the Asian-American friends I DM for because their parents made them study Confucius when they were kids instead of American folklore.
In that category I call the “cultural chasm”, none is a worse offender than the almighty wordplay. I have nothing against puns and similar tricks, but they are almost shibboleth-level of riddle gatekeeping and yet make up a good 50% of the ones you find online. Many people are simply not inclined to think about puns, have never encountered this particular definition of a word and couldn’t think of it, aren’t able to figure out puns at all, or simply speak a slightly different accent and the wordplay doesn’t work when they sound it in their head. That’s without considering people whose first language isn’t English, people with dyslexia who are going to struggle to find that “the centre of the continuum” refers to the letter “i”, etc.
But as I said above, the cultural chasm is not my main gripe. With a bit of effort, it’s relatively easy to craft a riddle (and/or a puzzle) that really only mentions what’s in the room around the characters and is close enough to plain English so that everyone can at least understand the words. Where the main breakdown is for me, is simply this:
Puzzles are the antithesis to D&D
We can argue for hours as to what makes and RPG what it is (the storytelling? The dice? The Cheetos™ Twisted Puffs that Dave brings?), but considering how we all hold unnecessary railroading as a Capital Sin, I propose the following statement: one of the core ideas behind RPGs is that it is a form of collective storytelling, where the fun comes from different people approaching various situations in different ways, which leads to potentially infinite paths for the adventure to follow. It’s the colliding of ideas and points of view that lead to the most unexpected and (in my opinion) the best parts of a successful RPG session.
Riddles, and puzzles, by design, go in the exact opposite direction. They’re bad railroading with a Venetian mask on to make them alluring. The whole point of a puzzle is that there is one (or a limited number of) right answer(s), and that failing to find this answer prevents characters from advancing the plot. Your average riddle/puzzle is a nail and you are asking your characters for a hammer. But maybe they don’t have a hammer, or they don’t want to use one. The whole point of D&D is that when the paladin encounters the nail, they use their hammer; when the rogue encounters it, they use their tools to dislodge it; and when it’s the bard, they make the nail cry with psychic insults. More importantly, each of these characters should be allowed to disregard the nail altogether, damn the consequences*.
A puzzle that only accepts one solution, no matter how blindingly obvious, runs countercurrent to the whole spirit of the game, which is based on collective creativity.
And at heart, that’s why the players can’t figure out that the gemstone needs to go into the gemstone-shaped hole. Because the whole game has been teaching them so far that the gemstone doesn’t matter; the characters are heroes who shape their own destiny. They have seduced, fought, sneaked and fled their way to victory because that was their prerogative. As a DM, we can certainly present the players with various challenges, but the fun comes from how these challenges are solved. Before the puzzle, if a gemstone mattered, it was said in plain text: Old Man Questgiver needs the party’s help retrieving that gemstone. You provide a why and let players figure out the how. Puzzles do the opposite: there’s rarely a why (other than “it’s in the way”) and they force the party’s hand to choose a very particular and narrow how. It simply doesn’t mesh with the rest of the game on a mechanics basis.
*For instance: Ah, young heroes! Thank the Gods for your arrival in this dark hour! The Evil Maw has almost opened the portal. Now, pray thee, I assume you have brought the Nail of Destiny with you? It is paramount for our ritual!
Well I’m convinced. But what do we do then?
I am not here to say that puzzles should be eradicated from the game. They are, after all, a staple, and it’s true that the satisfaction of solving a brain-teaser and getting the big ol’ statue to move out of the way is second to none. I just think that most puzzles are ill-designed, and that some fundamental aspects should be changed to ensure fun is had by all. I can’t say that I have all the answers, but I believe there are a few aspects we can consider.
As you’ve gathered, one of my main gripes with puzzles is their one-answer-ness and how it strays from the D&D philosophy. Well, that’s not completely true, since D&D already has a name for situations where only one answer applies: it’s a skill challenge. At the risk of falling into the eternal debate of "how to roleplay intelligence" vs "you can’t climb a wall in real life,'' I don’t think it’s wrong to say that the puzzle is just an Int- or Wis-based counterpart to the Athletics check when you run across a crumbling bridge. The logical thing to do is then to allow players to solve the puzzle through a skill challenge, which can be fun too (hopefully since that’s a good chunk of the game in all cases). Investigation, Arcana, Insight, Perception and their friends will allow your friend Dave, who plays a sage wizard but who in real life struggles with the maze on the back of the cereal box, to finally shine in a situation that doesn’t involve Fireball. Each skill check can add a hint, if only to tell your players where to start looking, both physically (“oh, you notice that the letter O in the carved phrase has been carved much deeper”) and metaphorically (“thanks to your successful Nature check, you know that a “fine weapon” in hobgoblin culture can only refer to a greatsword”). And yes, if your players align enough successful skill checks, give them the answer plain and simple! If they had figured it out by then, they would have already acted on it. So, if they are still asking questions after all the clues and hints have been given, and still do not find the solution, a final Int-based check should connect the dots for them and bring them to victory. I would agree that it’s “not the same” as solving a riddle with your own grey cells only, but it’s already heaps better than getting an entire table frustrated for thirty minutes because you relied on them figuring out that the shallow grave in your riddle is a metaphor for the Mold Earth spell.
The harder, but perhaps more satisfactory, route you can travel, is to design puzzles the same way you design other things in D&D: as an open challenge, where the players’ creativity is rewarded instead of squashed in the narrow straightjacket of how stone A should fit in hole B. It can even make sense thematically: as much as your local lich loves clever trickery and fancy puzzles, they’re still clever enough to add a shortcut to their laboratory for the days when they’re in a hurry and they don’t have the time to juggle three ducks or whatever the usual “open sesame” is. If anything, the usual puzzle setting tends to break immersion: there’s nothing more jarring than entering a puzzle area that is conveniently made of impregnable adamantium, when the rest of the dungeon so far was generous with flimsy doors and stuff that could be taken off the wall. It works in a video game since there is the implicit notion that not all elements of a game can automatically offer interaction, but it’s once again contrary to what I think is an important part of the D&D experience.
I’m not saying that all it takes is for the barbarian to strain against the door for a round, but if your forge cleric and your rogue combine forces to create a perfect replica of the missing key, that shit should work, and brilliantly too! Even if the actual key is still sitting under the magic welcome mat. That also allows you to engage the more muscley members of the group: if the solution the group has worked out is to make a giant swinging ram with the tapestries and one of the statues, the fighter can offer his arms and sense of timing to see the task brought to success.
To conclude, puzzles are a hard sell and their very solving mechanic, usually Manichean (you get it or you don’t), flies in the face of the best bits of D&D. I didn’t even talk about the huge gap that exists between what you, as a DM, think is the logical and evident course of action, and what the players consider to be obvious; I would like to talk about it further in a different post, simply because it doesn’t apply to puzzles only but to narration and storytelling in general. But it doesn’t mean that puzzles are doomed and will automatically grind the session to a halt. I just think it’s important to design them in a way that flows with the existing game system, rather than against it.
submitted by Calembreloque to DMAcademy [link] [comments]

When to call in a psychic or medium?

I have lived in my rental home for five years and have begun feeling and experiencing odd things, both on my own and in the presence of others and am wondering what I could do to feel comfortable in my home again?
Since I was young I have always felt that I was “in touch” with paranormal experiences and feelings but I always chalked them up to having an overactive imagination.
In any event this is what I’m currently experiencing at home. Since I’ve lived here we’ve definitely played ouija board a few times at parties and had some crazy experiences though I’m unsure if it’s related.
• I experience uneasiness at night in my living room, and in this long dark hallway at the center of my home which has a crawl space to the ground beneath it. I routinely feel like I am being chased when I walk from my living room into the hallway and towards my bedroom. I noticed that in five years I have subconsciously never sat in my living room at night on my own accord.
• I’ve noticed that one framed photo, several hanging paintings in the hallway are now crooked, and a Venetian mask routinely falls off the nail there.
• At night I’ve had weird lucid dreams where I remember trying to cover myself because I’m afraid a cold hand will touch me while I’m sleeping.
•Things falling on their own: today for instance two large Pyrex dishes SMASHED out of a cubbard that is almost never opened, and no one was close to the kitchen.
•Lots of technological glitches and oddities.
•Weird sounds. My clients have heard these too, like surreal clicking noises.
• Temperature changes and cold spots.
• A lot (and I mean a LOT) of electrical issues. Lightbulbs blow out all the time.
• A feeling like I’m being watched from my hallway when I sit at the piano or am in the bathroom.
• I had a friend who calls herself a light worker over for a small gathering recently and she pinpointed the exact spots that I feel uneasy without knowing. She wouldn’t go near one of my rooms and was super spooked at my home...
The craziest thing that ever happened was with my mom (who calls herself an amateur psychic). We were sitting in the living room years ago and I was telling her how I feel like my home may be haunted and she agreed. Then jokingly I said “If there is a ghost here, make your presence known!” 😒🤦🏼‍♀️And the lights on the porch suddenly flickered on an off for maybe a solid 5 seconds and my mother and I both gasped... it was weird.
I am a skeptic and yet... And yet at periods throughout my childhood and life, I’ve felt like I was tuned into something that I didn’t understand. Even this weekend I went on a historic “haunting” tour of DTLA and I became seriously physically and emotionally impacted by it; I felt heavy and weighed down.
My boyfriend calls me a “drama llama”— a more methodical, non-intuitive and practical individual never existed and I feel ridiculous when I mention these experiences and intuitions.
But in my gut I know something is going on and I’m not sure where to go with it next. I want to feel warm and at peace in my home and am wondering what steps to take now.
submitted by glittermanatee to Psychic [link] [comments]

Congratulations on your fancy purse. Now can you see if it has a receipt?

Another day, and another story. And since it was a two-minute exchange that burned itself into my memory, I actually have dialogue this time! Anyways, here you go. TL;DR at the end.
My store sells paint. This paint comes in two containers: the fully mixed paint buckets, which are the kind you'd buy to paint a full room, and samples, which are tiny cans that contain about five dollars' worth of paint that you'd use if you wanted to see how the color would look in the room.
The customer, hereby refered to as PL, for purse lady (you'll see why later) comes up to my checkout lane. I'm standing at the end to reassure people that my register is actually open, despite the broken light. I greet her warmly as I go behind the register.
PL sets two paint samples on my conveyor belt, and I smile and began making idle conversation while I ring her up.
Me: Hi! Just these two today?
PL: Just the sample.
PL taps on one of the cans with a long, plastic nail.
Me: Both samples? Or just this one?
PL: Just this one. I went to another [store name] and got it, but I got the wrong shade so I came to get another one.
That's understandable. I live in one of those areas where there are a few smaller "cities" (towns, really) are clustered together, so here are a few of the stores in the general area. If one store doesn't have something, you might be able to find it in the other.
Me: Alright m'am, may I see your receipt?
PL looks genuinely surprised.
PL: Receipt?
Me: Yes, sorry. It's store policy.
PL: I didn't think... I don't know if I...
PL continues to search for the receipt in the purse. While she looks, I check the sample she brought. There were a few small bits of paint that you get from accidentally brushing the, well, brush against the side, and the lid was loose. Inside, about a third of the paint was gone. I really should have continued to insist for her receipt, but it was pretty clear that she'd used part of the paint already.
Looking back, I regret it not even calling the paint department. But I've also been told that our losses barely even leave a dent in our profit, even when people steal large objects, and they've told us time and time again not to confront customers. And there's also the fact that nobody's explicitly told me to check receipts, I mainly just do it because it seems like common sense... Not to mention it was a six dollar thing of paint that wouldn't paint the walls of a dollhouse.
The situation was getting more tense, so after clearly checking the sample, I tried to make a joke out of it.
Me, laughing: It's alright. I trust you.
PL: I'd think so.
Me: Sorry, it's just store policy. Would you like a bag for this?
PL: As long as this one is secured tightly.
I made sure to tighten the lid for her before putting her samples in the bag. I forget what exactly she said, but it was something about me asking for a receipt.
Me: Sorry again for the inconvenience. It's just store policy. Your total is $X.xx
PL: Right.
PL grabs her purse, putting it on the conveyor belt so I can see it. I should mention that this entire transaction, she made her purse very visible to me.
PL: You're interrogating me. That's funny.
Me: I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Like I said, it's store policy, and I'm not in control of these things.
PL: See? This purse was twelve-hundred dollars.
As a side note, I would like to say that this is one of the most mediocre purse designs I have ever seen. It was a pale tan with white markings on it that may have been logos. You couldn't really see what they were, and they looked random. I mean, if you're going to spend that much money on a purse, at least take the time to pick out a nice one.
Me: That's a lot! My purse was only twelve dollars. Although I did get it in Laos!
I know that seems like a weird detail to include, but I was hoping that she'd take the bait and change the subject.
PL: That's right. I should be checking you.
PL spent about a minute telling me the above sentence. She was not quite so succinct about it, although she made it very clear that her purse made her superior to me. We have customers that barely speak any English that could string together a sentence better than she could.
Me: I'm sorry. Here is your bag.
PL: Finally.
Me: Have a nice day!
I didn't stop smiling this entire transaction, except to show concern when I asked for her receipt and while I was apologizing.
This is the only customer interaction that has left me with a sort of odd twist in my stomach. I've had customers angry at policies, but they've never been so weirdly personal with their retaliation. I know that there's no way of her knowing that finances are actually a big concern right now, with my dad's company giving him longer hours as they cut his pay and the cost of living goes higher and higher. She doesn't know that we can barely afford to live in this area, and are only here because the cost was cheaper when we moved here. It just gave me this sort of... low feeling. Like I'd been put in my place and I deserved it. And I know it's not accurate, but it hurt.
Well that got uncomfortably personal. So here, have a joke my coworker told me during a tour of the window section of the store!
How to you make a Venetian blind?
Poke him in the eyes.
TL;DR: I ask a lady for her receipt and she gets upset with me. Not because it was an inconvenience, but because she has a really expensive purse and I do not.
submitted by KuroTintedHeart to TalesFromRetail [link] [comments]

[EVENT] The Dark Path Ahead

Smoke billowed into pitch-black darkness. His own clothes seemed to emit a tiny bit of lumination. Otherwise, nothing was visible, and it was cold. The ground was so flat, it felt almost non-existent. A slight humming could be heard in the distance.
Konrad stood within the void. And the void closed around him like an Iron Maiden, while being as wide open as the sky itself.
No stars appeared above him, no walls touched his fingers as he felt around. He did not dare to move his feet, or the ground might reveal itself as an imagination.
He was dressed in white robes - his usual ones - but with a black hem as if he was conducting a funeral. His bishop’s ring was not on his hand. He must have lost it somewhere. It had always been a bit ill-fitting and probably slipped from his finger, dropping to the ground. Konrad looked around, but then remembered that it was too dark to see.
Like a gulf of cold water terror gripped his heart again, and the darkness seemed to get just a little bit darker. As he looked around, he still saw smoke rising all around him, but there was no source, no fire burning, no water steaming, no humidity to explain mist. The terror subsided again, as uncaused as it had started.
Then, the humming became louder. Not a lot, just enough to give the impression that it was closing in. Konrad tried to discern the direction from which it came, but very soon he realized that it was all directions. It was all around him.
And with a heavy thump, the ground shook once and the humming stopped. A bell rang and a door opened before Konrad, mist spreading as it revealed itself to Konrad. Carefully, he made a step forward and passed through the door into more complete darkness.
He had taken two steps past the door when it slid shut again and a deep, dark voice echoed through the room he was in now.
Sᴏ Yᴏᴜ Hᴀᴠᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ”, said the voice in all permeating volume, its depth making every hair on Konrad’s neck stand upright.
“Wh-”, started Konrad, but his voice gave in. He tried again. “Who are you?”, he asked.
Mʏ Nᴀᴍᴇ Iꜱ Oꜰ Nᴏ Iᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ”, said the voice, reaching into Konrad’s very soul. “Yᴏᴜ Cᴏᴜʟᴅ Nᴏᴛ Pʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴᴄᴇ Iᴛ Aɴʏᴡᴀʏ.
With a loud aching as if from hundreds of trees swaying, a giant figure appeared before Konrad. Its body still veiled in darkness, far above Konrad its head passed through the fog. Two horns, twirled in on themselves, protruded from its forehead, its skin was dark as if it had been burnt, its eyes were gleaming red and its face was covered in patches of hair.
Yᴏᴜ Mɪɢʜᴛ Kɴᴏᴡ Mᴇ As Tʜᴇ Aᴅᴠᴇʀsᴀʀʏ”, it said. That last word rang in Konrad’s head and imprinted itself on his conscious mind like a bright light on the eye.
“Why am I here?”, asked Konrad. Not sure if he had to shout or if the Adversary had already heard every mumbled swear that had ever passed his lips, he repeated the question loudly. “Why am I here?”
A gigantic hand disturbed the smoke. No, not a hand, more a talon, with long and pointy nails and fingers, or toes, ready to claw. The Adversary raised this talon to his chin.
I Hᴀᴠᴇ Wᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ Müɴsᴛᴇʀ Vᴇʀʏ Cʟᴏsᴇʟʏ”, its voice bellowed. “Iᴛ Is A Nɪᴄᴇ Cɪᴛʏ. Vᴇʀʏ Rɪɢʜᴛᴇᴏᴜs, Vᴇʀʏ Hᴏʟɪᴇʀ-ᴛʜᴀɴ-ᴛʜᴏᴜ. Bᴜᴛ I Hᴀᴠᴇ Aʟsᴏ Wᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ Yᴏᴜ.” With one of his giant fingers, the Adversary pointed at Konrad. Unable to move his feet, Konrad bent backwards, as the tip of its giant fingernails almost touched his nose. “Aɴᴅ Yᴏᴜ Hᴀᴠᴇ Bᴇᴇɴ A Lɪᴛᴛʟᴇ Nᴀᴜɢʜᴛʏ.
“How do you know?”, asked Konrad.
I Aᴍ Nᴏᴛ Aʟʟ-Kɴᴏᴡɪɴɢ”, it said. “Bᴜᴛ I Kɴᴏᴡ A Lᴏᴛ.
For a moment, memories flashed before Konrad’s eyes of the pleasant nights he had had with Yrmgard’s mother. The girl had grown up so quickly, and the woman he once loved had grown apart from him even faster. “Am I here to be punished for my sins?”
The ground started shaking, as the Adversary started laughing. He held his massive belly that came into view shortly, as it rose and fell. Konrad felt like he might go deaf any moment from the volume of his laughter and held his hands to his ears.
Yᴏᴜ Aʀᴇ Nᴏᴛ Hᴇᴀʀ Tᴏ Bᴇ Pᴜɴɪsʜᴇᴅ”, it said as it stopped laughing. “Yᴏᴜ Aʀᴇ Hᴇʀᴇ Tᴏ Bᴇ Rᴇᴄʀᴜɪᴛᴇᴅ, Tᴏ Bᴇ Lᴇᴅ Oɴ Tʜᴇ Oᴛʜᴇʀ Pᴀᴛʜ. Aɴᴅ I Tʜɪɴᴋ I Hᴀᴠᴇ Sᴜᴄᴄᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ.” The Adversary snapped with its giant fingers.
Suddenly, Konrad woke up, his nightclothes drenched in sweat.
“Servant”, he shouted. And as a servant entered the room, he ordered: “Fetch me quill and parchment, I need to write it down. Oh”, he added. “And bring me the Malleus Maleficarum!”
Carefully, Konrad made his way down the hill, in his back Burg Wolbeck, his residence outside of Münster. The sound of crickets filled the air and only some fireflies illuminated his path during this cloudy night. He held up the black cloak he was wearing, taking care not to trip. A white mask covered his face, so that no one he came across might recognize him.
As he reached the foot of his castle hill, he walked into the woods, moving branches to the side as the darkness closed around him again. It was not as dark as his encounter with the Adversary three nights ago, the nearby town and the occasional moonshine seeping through a break in the clouds gave just enough light for him to find his way.
But he had no map to follow. All he did was follow a direction.
After his dream, he had followed the clues. He had consulted Rudolf von Langen, vice-rector of the university and his confidant, about his dream, careful not to reveal his curiosity, but enough to learn what he had to learn. Reading those books that had been replaced had been very helpful as well. And on the next day, he walked into town dressed as a commoner and listening to people in taverns, and later that night in even less reputable establishments. He carefully breached these sensitive topics with random strangers.
He had many enlightening conversations with these strangers, although most people he talked to were just upset by the authority of the church and that it should be reformed. There have been many movements like these in the past, and Konrad had always done his best to help reforms like these along in his own works, but many of Münster’s citizens seemed ready for some more drastic change. Someday.
But what he was really looking for was a different kind of reform, of defiance. And while he returned to the palace that day seemingly without success, the next morning he found a piece of paper with instructions slipped under his bedchamber’s doors. Almost certainly, one of the members of his household was one of them, how else could they have made that gruelling display and reached his bedchamber’s door at such an early hour?
The instructions were simple. He was to travel to Wolbeck to his castle there, and leave it in a certain direction as indicated by a star chart. It was cloudy that night, but by consulting a book on astrology he was able to find his bearings anyway.
But that night, he walked until the dawn through thick underbrush and slightly swampy fields later, and he found no soul. As he heard the first roosters cry, he turned around and headed back.
But the next morning, he found another note, just like the last but with a different instruction. Again, he would have to follow one direction indicated by the stars, although one that was slightly different. From his walk last night, Konrad knew that this way there was a lot more forest he might have to walk through. Maybe last time they observed him from afar to see if he would come with armed guards.
And so he walked in the woods again, not knowing if he would walk again until the dawn of the next day. Already it felt to him like an hour had passed and yet he had no way to tell.
But then he saw a light shimmering through the trees. Only because it was so dark could he spot it so easily from so far away. Slowly and careful not to make a sound, he made his way towards the light. He ducked the closer he got, and spying through a thicket, he had a perfect view of what there was to see.
It was a clearing, illuminated by torches and many, many candles. Giant stones filled the clearing. They were arranged in a certain way that formed almost a staircase leading up to one that had a flat top, but they were so big that no man could have possibly carried them. Konrad had heard the townspeople talk about them before. They called them Hüüngrafftsteden - giant’s graves - because giants must have carried the stones to where they now lie.
Red velvet had been draped all over the stones and black and white candles stood everywhere. At the foot of the stones stood many people - men and women alike, it seemed - dressed in black robes and cloaks just like Konrad. As one of them turned around, Konrad saw that they were also wearing masks to obscure their faces, not unlike his own.
At the top of the stones stood a man in red robes, wearing a giant goat’s skull on his head. The horns attached to its forehead reminded Konrad strongly of his dream. Before him lay a young lady on the stone, all dressed in white. She must be the virgin sacrifice, thought Konrad who had carefully studied the Malleus Maleficarum.
The man in the goat mask held a knife in his hand, but he was not doing anything with it. Instead, he just stood there, casually conversing with his sacrifice, while the other cultists stood around holding goblets and conversing as well. Sometimes, they laughed out in the middle of their conversation. In general, it seemed like a very pleasant meeting, similar to the likes one could find during a Venetian carnival.
And then Konrad spotted another goblet sitting on one of the stones. No one seemed to use it, because everyone held one in their hands, even the man with the goat mask and his sacrifice. Maybe someone had walked away to relieve themselves, Konrad wondered. But his thoughts were dismissed when some of the cultists turned around and looked straight at the thicket he was hiding behind.
The goat man had pointed at it and still was, but the cultists did not move in to attack or restrain Konrad. Instead, they waved him to come out. Konrad collected himself and stood up. He straightened his cloak and cleared his throat. And so he walked over to the group. They indicated to him that he take the goblet. Clearly they were waiting for him, and so he took it and looked inside. A small sip confirmed the looks. It was regular, albeit very aromatic wine.
And so he joined in the conversation with a tall woman behind a blue mask decorated with feathers. The conversation naturally drifted into the heretical, about how the church controlled every aspect of people’s lives.
“If my mother would ask me how I lie with my husband, and then decided that she preferred it a different way, we would send her to a nunnery to be cared for”, said the woman. “The Lord however is allowed to judge us for it with impunity, and for all eternity.”
Konrad smiled. “The Lord, they say, is all-powerful, and that is good.” He remembered his own election. “When a lord is chosen in these lands, they write a document that limits his powers in so many ways, all to ensure he is not too powerful. And that is seen as a good thing. Only with the Lord do we see all-power as a good thing.”
“That is a nice comparison”, noted the woman and nodded approvingly.
And so they talked for a long time. Konrad had many more pleasant conversations, and it seemed like an hour had passed when his goblet ran dry.
At that moment, the man with the goat’s skull on his head pounded a staff he held on the stone below him. The cultists turned to him.
“Dearest siblings”, he said. “I am thankful that you have come again today. Please welcome in our midst our newest member.”
The cultists gave Konrad a warm applause and he gave small nods of appreciation around.
“What say you, shall he lead today’s sacrifice?”, said the man.
“Yes!”, cheered the group and clapped again.
“I…” Konrad hesitated. “I don’t know how to do that.”
“Oh, it is not hard”, encouraged the woman with the blue mask.
The man climbed down from the stones and removed the ram’s skull. He was wearing a regular mask on his face below. He handed the skull to Konrad and after Konrad had put it on his head, the man also handed him the knife.
“Be careful with it”, said the man, as Konrad proceeded to climb the stones. As he reached the top, he nervously looked down at the young woman. She winked at him encouragingly. Her hands were in fists, clenched on her chest.
At the foot of the stones, the cultists began chanting ominously. It was not Latin. Konrad could not understand the words, but they made his mind drift. Soon, he felt like he was only half present. He raised the knife…
Then he hesitated…
And then he brought it down towards the girl’s stomach.
submitted by mamelsberg to empirepowers [link] [comments]

[For Sale]400 cheap punk/hc/emo/indie/some metal records!MORE ADDED!

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My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) / Zero Percent (7", Single, Pic) (Reprise Records, Sire) $19.99
Wide Awake - The End (7") (Mondo Gillipie Records, Oldman Crucial Music) $6.99
Various - Hardcore 1990 East Meets West (7", Comp) (Nemesis Records (4)) $0.99
Blistered - Reject Their Shame (7", Cle) (Bottled Up Records) $6.99
Paradise Lost - Icon (2xLP, Album) (Music For Nations)og press $49.99
Beck - Mellow Gold (LP, Album, RP) (Bong Load Records) $54.99
Rag Men - Rag Men (LP, Grey) (Malfunction Records) $8.99
Angel Du$t - Xtra Raw (7", Cle) (React! Records) $19.99
Violation - Possessed (7", Blu) (Sound And Fury)#/25 $34.99
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The Promise Ring / Texas Is The Reason (Jade Tree) $5.99
THE FULL LIST:
4th Grade Nothing - One Nation Under... (7") (Apathy Press) $3
6 / G-Whiz - Shake Well / Evergreen / Run / Catchup (7", EP) (Medical Records) $3
Nine Shocks Terror* - Paying Ohmage (LP, Album) (Sound Pollution Records) $10
Abnegation / Chapter - And The Floods Came (7", RP) (+/- Records) $3
Action Patrol - Up And Running (7", EP) (Buddy System Records) $4
Amulet - Life On The Edge Of Chaos (7") (Cylinder Recordings) $3
Anchor - Lobster Boy EP (7", Ltd, 400) (Lobster Boy Records) $5
At Our Heels - At Our Heels (7", EP) (Heart In Hand Records) test press $12
At The Drive-In / Burning Airlines - At The Drive-In / Burning Airlines (7", Single, Pic) (Thick Records) $5
Aufgehoben - Axiologue / Thermidor One Five (7", Ltd, Pic) (White Denim) $2
Aztec Two Step - Aztectwostep (7", Red) (Immigrant Sun Records) $1
Backfire! - Who Told You Life Is Easy? (7", EP, Blu) (Lost And Found Records) $7
Barnabys - Shinola (7", EP) (spinART Records) $2
Bats And Mice* - Back In Bat (7", Cle) (Lovitt Records) $5
BBBlood / Al Qaeda - Split (7", Ltd) (Trans-Dimensional Sushi Recordings) $4
Belle & Sebastian - Sing Jonathan David (7") (Matador) $10
Beyond Reason - It's Just Begun (7") (Youth Bus Records) $2
Big Black - He's A Whore / The Model (7", Single, RP) (Touch And Go) $4
Big Black - Il Duce (7", Single, RE) (Homestead Records) $3
Bird Of Ill Omen - When Love Would've Shown Interest In Us Both (7", EP, Ltd) (One Day Savior Recordings) $4
Black Turns Green - Black Turns Green (7", EP, Cle) (Positive Face Records) $3
Blackspot - Check Out The Helmet (7", Cle) (Workshed) $3
Blackspot / Triceratops - Banana Split (7") (Bastille Records) $2
Bloodlet - Entheogen (LP, Album, Ltd, Pur) (Victory Records) $25
Blue - Cock Roach (7", Blu) (Bovine Records) $5
Bongwater - You Don't Love Me Yet (7", Single, Ltd) (Shimmy Disc) $3
Brainstorm - Brainstorm (7") (Flatline Records) $3
Bridge And Tunnel - Indoor Voices (10", Gra) (No Idea Records) $3
Brook Benton - Makin' Love Is Good For You / Better Times (7", Single) (Olde World Records) $1
Burn- Burn (7", EP) (Revelation Records ) og press $10
Burnchild - Reach For Life (7") (12:05 Records) $3
Burning Airlines - Carnival / Scissoring (7", Whi) (DeSoto Records) $3
Burning Airlines / Braid - Burning Airlines / Braid (7") (DeSoto Records) $3
Burning Defeat - Singlin' Out The Aims (7") (Green Records (9)) $2
Caged Animal - Caged Animal (7", EP) (Warthog Speak) $3
Calabash Case - Calabash Case (7") (Wrenched Records) $3
Carpenter Ant - Summer Tour (7", S/Sided, W/Lbl) (Mike Fitzgerald Records) $5
Cave In - Creative Eclipses (7") (Hydra Head Records) $8
Ceremony - Ruined (7", Yellow) (Malfunction Records) $32
Chainsaw - Monopolized (7", EP) (Even Worse Records, Way Back When Records) $2
Chances Are, Insist, Reliance, No Motiv - A Better Tomorrow (7") (Humble Merchandise) $7
Charm City Suicides - Green Blood (7") (Baths Of Power) $4
CIV - Social Climber (7", Blue) (Revelation Records) $17
Co-Ed - Sometimes Always Maybe Never (LP, Album, Whi) (Cool Guy Records) $10
Collateral Damage - Let Me Be Broken (7") (New Age Records) $4
Conqueror - S/T (7", gre) (Seventh Dagger) $5
Control De Estado - Acto Criminal (7", Pur) (Burrito Records) $2
Corndolly - Human Cannonball (7") (Mud Records) $1
Countdown - Demo (7", EP) (Flatspot Records) $7
Modernhell* - Cult Hazing (7") (Dead Art Collective) $2
Crappy Dracula - What's Going To Happen To Us? (7") (Eeefin' Records) $1
Creatures - Salvation (7", S/Sided, Gre) (Hellfish Family, Closed Casket Activities) $20
Crent - 9.K.? / F.S.W. (7", Single, Pin) (Waterfront Records) $5
Crispus Attucks - ¡Yo Pého! (7") (Six Weeks) $1
Crook$ - City Of Rats (7", EP, Ltd) (Noma Beach Records) $2
Cropduster - Totem Pole (7") (Noode Records) $1
Crossed Eyes - Rattled (7", EP) (Sorry State) $1
Damage - Final (7", EP) (Deathwish) $3
Darkbuster - Many Moons (Flexi, 7", Shape, S/Sided) (Pirates Press Records) $2
Daybreak (7) - Daybreak (7", EP) (First Punch Records) $2
Dead Thirteen / Down Foundation - Deadthirteen / Downfoundation (7", Num) (Slave Union) $2
Deadbodieseverywhere / Utter Bastard - Deadbodieseverywhere / Utter Bastard (7", EP)(625 Thrashcore, Mere Existence) $3
Deamon's Jaded Passion / Avarice - Deamon's Jaded Passion / Avarice (7", EP)(Alveran Records) $1
Death By Stereo - Death By Stereo (7", Yel) (Indecision Records, Indecision Records) $5
Der Submarine Racers - Space Burrito (7") (Spin The Bottle Records) $2
Derelicts - Misery Maker b/w Wash (7", Gre) (Sub Pop) $3
Des Man DeAblo - Love Mantras For DeAblo (7") (Whole Car Records) $3
Descendents - 'Merican (7", EP) (Fat Wreck Chords) $10
Desensitized - Live By Our Own Standards (7") (Untergrund Records) $2
Designer - Designer (7", W/Lbl) (Black Forest Breed) $5
Desperation - Desperation (7", EP, Red) (Organized Crime Records) $2
Die Monitr Batss* / A.S.T. - Untitled (7", EP) (Dim Mak Records) $3
Die Monitr Batsss* / Les Georges Leningrad - Clean Up / Monster Klaw (7") (5 Rue Christine) $3
Dirt Don't Hurt - First Hand (7") (Moonshine Records) $1
Dirty Dirt & The Dirts - Dirty Dirt & The Dirts (7") (Western Disease) $2
Dirty Looks - Dirty Looks (7") (Iron Pier) $2
Disaster Strikes - The Interrogation Sessions EP (7", EP, Oli) (Alternative Tentacles) $2
Dismember - Death Metal (LP, Album) (Nuclear Blast)og press $50
Donnybrook / Piece By Piece - There Goes The Neighborhood (7", Cream) (1917 Records) $7
Downside - Downside (7") (Nemesis Records) $2
Drown In Frustration - Already Fallen (7", EP) (Pateline Industries) $3
Dryer - Letterbox Ep (7", EP) (Paint Chip Records) $7
Duochrome - Neon Ground Effects (7") (Dada Records (2)) $2
East River Pipe - Bring On The Loser (7") (Merge Records) $3
Ebola Virus - No Redemption (7", EP) (Art Of The Underground) $1
Eighteen Visions - Vanity (7", Single, Red) (Trustkill Records) $7
Electrelane - Two For Joy (7", Single) (Too Pure) $5
Eleventh Hour - Sifting Through The Ashes (7") (Ballyhoo Withdrawal Records, Threshold Records) $3
Elton Motello - Pop Art (7", Single) (Passport Records) $1
Encrypt Manuscript - Encrypt Manuscript (7", Cle) (The Tone Library) $5
Endeavor - Constructive Semantics (LP, Album) (Trustkill Records) $10
Engine Down - Demure (LP, Album) (Lovitt Records) $60
Enon - Evidence / Grain Of Assault (7", Single) (Troubleman Unlimited) $2
Erl - Creepin' Mujetderreh (7", Single) (Erl Records) $3
Ernie Freeman - The Tuttle (7") (Imperial) $2
Ersel Hickey - Bluebirds Over The Mountain (7") (Epic) $3
Evel - The Trial Separation Anxiety Project (7", Ltd) (Foresight Records (4)) $5
The Eventide* - Single. 98 (7", Single) (The Romance Label) $2
Ex Models - Chrome Panthers (12") (Troubleman Unlimited) $6
Execute- Time Between The Fanfare (7", Gol) (Moo Cow Records) $4
Exploding Corpse Action / Dead Baby - Exerpts From The Compendium Of Alien Atrocities / Dead Baby (7", Ltd) (Dark Planet Records, Hater Of God) $2
Face To Face - Disconnected (7", Single) (Fat Wreck Chords) $12
Fake Problems / The Gaslight Anthem - Songs For Teenagers (7", Single, Ltd, Neo)(SideOneDummy Records) $15
Final Draft - Final Draft (7") (To Live A Lie, Give Praise Records, 625 Thrashcore, Arcade Crazy) $3
Final Fight - Final Fight (7", Yel) (Step Off Records) $10
Fine Day - Extinct / Soot (7") (Sunspot Records) $2
Fingerprintz - Tough Luck (7") (Virgin) $2
Fingers Crossed / Legion - Sign Of The Southern Cross (7", Ltd, Red) (Dead End Records) $5
Fire Team Charlie - Fire Team Charlie (7", Num) (Ghosthunt Records, Wrapped In Plastic) $5
First to Leave - S/T (7", EP) (Culdesac Records) $5
Force Fed - 5 Song E.P. (7", EP) (Painkiller Records (2)) $3
Forstella Ford - Well Versed In Deception (LP, Album) (Scene Police, One Day Savior Recordings) $5
Fortunate Son - Fortunate Son (7") (High Fidelity Records) $2
Fortunate Son - Fortunate Son (7") (High Fidelity Records) $2
Fortunate Son, High Stakes - Split (7", Blu) (Good News Records) $2
Fortydaysrain / The Year Of Our Lord - Fortydaysrain / The Year Of Our Lord (7", Red)(:DIE:) $5
Freewill - Freewill (7", Ltd, RE, Red) (Mankind Records) $7
From Ashes Rise - Rejoice The End / Rage Of Sanity (7", Single, Gol) (Southern Lord) $7
Fun Bug - Tezbinetop EP (7", EP) (Lookout! Records) $2
Fy Fan - Fy Fan (7") (Feral Ward) $3
Gag - Riot!!!!! (7") (Bob Records) $7
găs'•o•lēne' - Silence Fell (7", Gre) (Outback Records) $1
Gehenna - Land Of Sodom (7", W/Lbl) (Hit The Deck) $15
Gehenna - Upon The Gravehill (LP, Album, Ltd, Num, RE, Pur) (King Of The Monsters) $18
Ghaddar / Panaceja - Ghaddar / Panaceja (7") (Feral Kid Records) $2
Go It Alone - Histories (7", Single, RP) (Rivalry Records) $5
Good Clean Fun - Shopping For A Crew (7", Ltd, EP, Whi) (Underestimated Records) $4
Good Clean Fun - Who Shares Wins (7", Gre) (Phyte Records, Phyte Records) $6
Gorilla Biscuits - Gorilla Biscuits (7", EP, RP) (Revelation Records ) $7
Graf Orlock / Greyskull - Graf Orlock / Greyskull (12", Smo) (Dood Records) $25
Graf Orlock, Hurry Up And Kill Yourself - Split (7", Ltd) (Attrition Records ) $35
Grieving Eucalyptus - Drive In (7") (The Self-Starter Foundation) $3
Grifters - Bronze Cast (7") (Shangri-la Records) $1
Gung Ho! / Lead By Example - Gung Ho! / Lead By Example (7", EP, Ora) (High Fidelity Records) $2
H-Street - H-Street (7", EP, Blu) (Broken Man Records) $3
Haircuts - Haircuts Are No Fun (7", Single) (Sack O' Shit Records) $2
Hallraker - She (7") (Phyte Records) $2
Harms Way - Harms Way (7", S/Sided, Ltd/50) (Organized Crime Records) $45
Hatebreed - Under The Knife (7", EP) (Smorgasbord Records) $7
Haunted Life / Make Or Break - Haunted Life / Make Or Break (7", Ora) (Triple-B Records (2)) $3
Henriette C* - Rockin' On The Red Book / Paddy Field (7", Single) (Back Door) $5
Herder - Horror Vacui (12", EP, Ltd, bro) (Reflections Records) $10
Himsa - Courting Tragedy And Disaster (LP, Pic, Ltd) (Excursion Records) $8
Hit Me Back / Out Of Vogue - The Thrashy Slumber Party Pillow Fight Split E.P. (7", EP) (Art Of The Underground, 625 Thrashcore) $2
Homerun - The End.... (7", Ltd, Roc) (Fixed Star Records) $2
Horace Pinker - Knives, Guns, And Ammunition (7") (Rhetoric Records) $2
Icons Of Filth - Not On Her Majesty's Service (7", Unofficial, Red) (Mortarhate Records) $25
Ida - Salute (7", EP) (Musette Records) $2
Imbiss - Brain Food / Consequences (7", Single) (Subjugation) $2
Impel - Derail (7", Ltd, Cle) (Redwood Records) $2
In Time- This City Has Brought Me Down (7") (Notion Records) $2
Incendiary / Xibalba - Incendiary / Xibalba (7", RP, Blu) (Closed Casket Activities) $9
Inner Strength - Time For Reality (7") (Victory Records) $7
Insist, Chances Are - Together Again (7", EP) (Humble Merchandise) $2
Insult / Voorhees - Insult / Voorhees (7", Cle) (Balowski Records) $4
Intense Youth! - 2003 Summer Tour (7", EP) (Behold, The Youthquake!) $2
Into Another - Poison Fingers (7") (Revelation Records (8)) $5
Iron Rain - Silent Sins (7", EP) (Panic Records (5), How Soon Is Now Records) $3
Isocracy - Bedtime For Isocracy (7", Num) (Lookout! Records) $7
Isocracy - Bedtime For Isocracy (7", RP) (Lookout! Records) $7 J Church - Racked (7") (Vagrant Records) $6
Jason Farrell - Sings And Plays (7", Ltd) (Corleone Records) $3
Jawbone - Loss Of Innocence (7", EP, Ltd, Cle) (Blood & Ink Records) $2
Jayhawker - Scale-Model Failure / Porchlight (7", Gre) (Excursion Records) $2
Jihad / Inourselves - Jihad / Inourselves (7") (Checker Records (2)) $3
Jihad - Bad Timing (7", Mono) (Not On Label (Jihad (8) Self-released)) $6
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around With Jim (LP, Album, RE) (ABC Records) $2
Jimmy Eat World / Blueprint - Jimmy Eat World / Blueprint (7", Single, Tru) (Abridged Records) $6
Jones Very - New Life For Lies (LP, Album, W/Lbl) (Jade Tree) test press $15
Judas Priest - Locked In (7", Single, Promo) (Columbia) $4
Jughead's Revenge / Strung Out - Jughead's Revenge / Strung Out (7", Blu) (Fearless Records) $12
Junior Varsity - Pep Rally Rock! (7", EP) (Twist Like This Records) $5
Justice - Look Alive E.P. (7", EP, Gre) (Complete Control Records, Get Wise Records) $12
Kay Kay And His Weathered Underground - Diggin' / My Friends All Passed Out (7", cle)(Suburban Home Records) $3
Killin'It! / I Hate This - Killin' It! / I Hate This (7", W/Lbl, Pur) (Serious Records (10)) $2
Kim Phuc / Centipede Eest - Kim Phuc / Centipede Eest (7", Num) (Dear Skull Records) $10
Knives With Villabrut - Knives/Villabrut Split (7") (Gasping For Breath Records) $2
Lamps - Tim Ford / Cowboy (7") (Hook Or Crook Records) $4
Larry Gatlin & The Gatlin Brothers - I Might Be What You're Lookin' For (7", Single)(Universal Records) $2
Last In Line - Crosswalk E.P. (7", EP, Red) (Use Your Head Records) $10
Last Year's Diary - Last Year's Diary (7") (Scene Police, Ignition Records) $2
Laughing Dog / No Le$$* - Laughing Dog / No Le$$ (7", EP, Gre) (Bad People Records) $4
Law Of All Ends - Forty Bones & Six Flights Of Stairs LateOut-stretched Hands Slit At The Wrist (7", Cle) (Law Of All Ends Records) $2
Left Hand Path - The Wreckage (7", EP, Ltd, Pin) (Organized Crime Records) $5
Less Than Jake - Slayer (7") (No Idea Records) $8
Less Than Jake - Smoke Spot (7", EP, RP, Yel) (No Idea Records) $30
Let Down - Crossed Off (7", EP, Cle) (Dead By 23) $50
Life Long Tragedy / Sabertooth Zombie - The Dungeon Sessions (7") (Spiderghost Pressgang) $10
Life Long Tragedy / Sabertooth Zombie - The Dungeon Sessions (7") (Spiderghost Pressgang) $9
Lights Out - Get Out (7", EP) (Youngblood Records) $7
Line Of Fire / Capgun - Fierce Labor (7") (Unity Power Records) $2
Longmont Potion Castle / Hatebeak - Metal Interlude / Beak Of Putrefaction (7", EP)(Reptilian Records, Reptilian Records) $3 RECORD ONLY
Love Camp 7 - King Sex / & Sour Old Men (7", Yel) (Bowlmor Records) $2
Lucero - The Attic Tapes (LP, Comp + 7") (Liberty & Lament) 7"ONLY NO LP $10
Machine-Gun Kelly, Quite Satellite - The Kelly-satellite Project (7") (Redwood Records, Sun Sea Sky Productions) $2
Madball - Been There, Done That (7", Blu) (Victory Records) $9
Madison - Rasputin/Lament (7") (Doomed Earth) $3
Malva - Das Leben Ist Kein Picknick (7") (Equality Records) $4
Man Is The Bastard / Sinking Body - Protein (7") (Vermiform) $5
Map The Growth - Self Titled (7") (Thrashed Records) $2
Margaret Thrasher - Does It Matter? (7", EP) (Clarence Thomas Records) $2
Maxïmo Park - Books From Boxes (7", Single, 2/2) (Warp Records) $5
Maxïmo Park - Books From Boxes (7", Single, 1/2) (Warp Records) $5
Men's Recovery Project - Normal Man (7") (Gravity (2)) $4
Mercy Rule - 100 MPH (7") (Pravda Records) $4
Metroschifter - The Metroschifter Capsule (LP, Per) (Slamdek Records) LIMITED SLEEVE $30
Miles Away - Brainwashed (7", Cle) (Resist Records) $11
Milkwede - Milkwede (7") (Not On Label) $8
Mindless Mutant - Mindless Mutant (7") (625 Thrashcore, Dangerously Small Records) $3
Modern Life Is War - Modern Life Is War (7", EP, RP) (Modern Life Is War Records) $11
Mondo Cané - The Crunch Song (7") (Go Ahead Records/Dogtown Records) $4
MxPx - Small Town Minds (7", EP, Pin) (Tooth & Nail Records) $15
My Luck - ... Is Frozen (7", EP, Ora) (Youngblood Records) $3
Mynx - 7" (7", EP) (Kiss Kiss Records) TESTPRESS $6
Myron Floren - It's A Small World / Peanuts Polka (7", Single) (Ranwood) $2
Nasum - Helvete (LP, Album, GraY) (Relapse Records) $30
Navies - House Ties (7", Cle) (Lovitt Records) $2
Neck Deep - Neck Deep (7") (Static Records (13), Insta-Noise Records) $2
New Bruises / Stolen Bikes Ride Faster - New Bruises / Stolen Bikes Ride Faster (7", Pur)(Kiss Of Death Records, Rat Patrol Records, Yo-Yo Records) $2
New Found Glory - Tip Of The Iceberg (7", EP, Ltd, Red) (Bridge Nine Records) $4
Nihilistics - Truth (7") (Transparent Records) $3
No Contest - Where Do We Go From Here? (7") (Slaughterhouse Records) $1
No Innocent Victim / Phanatik - Split EP (7", EP, Ltd) (Facedown Records, Uproar Records (2)) $7
No Tolerance - No Remorse, No Tolerance (7", Red) (Youngblood Records) $17
Noose - The War Of All Against All (7", Ltd, Cle) (REACT! Records) $2
Nordic Waste / Bored Straight / Holy Shit! - Nordic Waste / Bored Straight / Holy Shit! (7", Comp, W/Lbl) (Not On Label (Nordic Waste Self-released), Not On Label (Bored Straight Self-released), Not On Label (Holy Shit! Self-released)) $1
Notaword - These Things Take Time... (7", Whi) (Communication Recordings) $3
Nothing More - Nothing More (7") (Panx Productions) $1
November's Fire - Victim (7", cle) (Crop Circle Records) $3
Now In 3D - Television (7", Red) (JukeBox Records Music Company) $3
Ojorojo / Inflicted - Split (7") (Power Ground Records) $3
On Bodies - The Long Con (10", RE, Gol) (Irish VooDoo Records) $15
One Step Beyond - Insomnia (7") (Pateline Industries, Two Friends Recordings) $1
One X More - One X More (7", EP) (Commitment Records) $3
Otep - Blood Pigs (7", Red) (Capitol Records) $10
Owen Hart - Owen Hart (7", TP) (0000 Records) $20
Ox - "The Don't Equate A Broken Head With A Watermelon Geek" 7 Inch (7")(Chumpire) $1
Paintbox - Cry Of The Sheeps (7", EP) (Prank) $4
Panic - Panic (7", Cle) (Bridge Nine Records) $6
Jack Plotkin's Phantomsmasher* / Venetian Snares - Podsjfkj Pojid Poa / Oisdjoks (Caught In Your Orbit Remix) (7", Ltd, EP, Gre) (Double H Noise Industries) $7
Phido - Untitled (7", EP, Single) (Vermin Scum Records) $2
Piece By Piece - Written In Blood (7", EP, Bla) (Takeover Records ) $5
Planes Mistaken For Stars - Spearheading The Sin Movement (7", EP, RP, Red) (No Idea Records) $10
Planes Mistaken For Stars - Spearheading The Sin Movement (7", EP, Cle) (No Idea Records) $9
Point Of Few - Point Of Few (7", EP) (Goat Head Records, Discontent Records) $3
Point Of View - Liberation (7") (Faded Image Records) $3
Polar Bear Club - The View, The Life (7", EP, Ltd, Red) (Bridge Nine Records) $9
Power - Power (7") (Slambo Rat Records)green $13
Prap's - No! (7", EP) (Víctimas Del Progreso - Crímenes De Estado) $5
Prey / X-wing - split 7" (7", EP, Comp) (Spacement Records) $1
Project Kate - ...The Way Birds Fly (LP, Album, Gre) (Equal Vision Records) $12
Proles! - One Small Step (7", EP, Sal) (Free To A Good Home Records) $2
Queerfish - Sea Of Hope (7") (Per Koro) $1
Quicksand - Omission (7", EP) (Revelation Records) OG PRESS $10
Räjäyttäjät - Räjäyttäjät Tulee Taas (7", Whi) (White Denim) $5
Rats Of Unusual Size - Elephant Man (7") (Vital Music) $5
Rats Of Unusual Size - Elephant Man (7") (Vital Music) $5
Reach The Sky - Everybody's Hero (7") (Victory Records) $3
Red Handed - Red Handed (7", Whi) (Rivalry Records) $2
Red Thread - Red Thread (7") (Shock To The System) $2
Refuge - You Thought Wrong (7") (Construction Records) $2
Reggie And The Full Effect / Koufax (7", Single, Blu)(Vagrant Records, Heroes & Villains Records) $10
Restrain The Thought - Trust And Respect (7", EP, Cle) (Lost And Found Records) $3
Revenge Therapy - Revenge Therapy (7", Ltd) (Custom Made Music) $7
Reverend Crow - 7 Inches (7", Ltd, Ran) (SRC Vinyl) $2
Right Thant - Right Thant (7") (Not On Label) $3
Rise Against - Rise Against (7", Ltd) (Fat Wreck Chords) $4
Rise And Fall - Hellmouth (LP, Album) (Anger Management Records) $15
Ritual - Beneath Aging Flesh And Bone (LP, Whi) (Reflections Records) $3
Robert Palmer - Secrets (LP, Album) (Island Records) $2
Royal Monsters - Royal Monsters (7", EP, Gre) (New Age Records) $3
Ruiner / Day Of The Dead - Ruiner & Day Of The Dead (7", Pin) (Vendetta Records (3), Burn Bridges) $6
Samuel - Empty And Then Some / Our Baby Outlaw (7") (Art Monk Construction) $2
Sandy City - Nice Hat (7", Ltd) (PRTY NGG!) $2
Science Diet - Afterlife / Phase 2 (7", Bur) (Motherbox) $1
Scraps And Heart Attacks - Scraps And Heart Attacks (7", Red) (Dead By 23) $3
Search - Between The Lines (7", EP, Ltd, Blu) (Revelation Records ) $7
Seasick / Don't Wake Up - Seasick/Don't Wake Up (7", Spl) (Think Tank Records (3), Poker Face Records) $2
Set It Straight / Where Eagles Dare - Set It Straight/Where Eagles Dare (7", Yel) (Twelve Gauge Records) $20
Settle For Less - Contemporary (7", Cle) (6131 Records, EitheoRecords) $3
Seven Days Of Samsara - Live on WNYU (7", Gre) (Lessons In Cacophony, Lessons In Cacophony) $3
Sevens - ...Seed Of The Seeing Sunflower... (7") (Akashic Records (2), Dischord Records) $3
Shitfit - Shitfit (7") (Vital Communications (2)) $2
Shock Cinema - The Chase (7") (Rob's House Records) $1
Shook Ones - Sixteen (LP, Album, Ltd, Gold) (Endwell Records) $25
Short Fuse - Fruitless Efforts (7", EP, Ltd, U.S) (Underestimated Records) $5
Sick Of It All - Sick Of It All (7", EP, Unofficial) (Not On Label) $10
Sick Symptom - Demo 2014 (7") (Coin Toss Records) $2
Silence - Duration Of... (7") (Further Beyond Records) $1
Sinkhole - Donkey (7") (Ringing Ear Records) $2
Sinking Ships - Ten (7", EP) (Revelation Records) $10
Slices - Modern Bride / Chump Change (7", Num) (Kemado Records) $3
Slices - Slices (7") (16OH Records) $3
Slogan Boy - This Record (7", RP, Gre) (Hate The 80's Records) $2
Sloth / Tile - Sloth / Tile (7", W/Lbl) (Not On Label (Sloth,Self-released), Not On Label $5
Slumlords - Circus Freaks (7", EP) (Give & Take Records) $4
Smooth Man Automatic - Smooth Man Automatic (7") (Lolita Recordings) $1
Snap Krackle Drop / Those Meddling Kids - I Don't Care, Anymore / Just What I Needed (7") (Social Retardance) $2
Solace - Forms Burning Cold (7") (Moo Cow Records) $1
Some Kind Of Hate - Some Kind Of Hate (7", EP) (Bridge Nine Records) $2
Some Still Believe - Some Still Believe (7", EP) (Martyr Records) $2
Some Velvet Sidewalk - Pumpkin Patch (7", Single) (K) $2
Sorry Excuse - Sorry Excuse (7", Num, Red) (Lifeline Records (4)) $7
Stand Off - Worthless Is The Unity Bought At The Expense Of Truth (7") (Crucial Response Records) $2
The Statics* - Original 1980 Punk Rock Recordings (7", Num) (Ugly Pop Records, Squelchtone Records) $4
Steadfast - Misguided (7", EP,) (Youth Power Records) $2
Sticks & Stones* - Coupe Flowers Can't Fail (7") (Skene! Records) $5
Sticks And Stones - Storm Coming (7", EP) (Skene! Records, Skene! Records) $7
Stone Temple Pilots - Stone Temple Pilots (LP, Album) (Atlantic) $50
Straw Dogs - Man In The High Tower (7", Red) (Gawdawful Records) $3
Strike Anywhere - Chorus Of One (12", RP) (No Idea Records) $10
Stroke / Pole* - Stroke / Pole* (7") (Pateline Industries) $2
Strong Intention - Make Up Your Mind (7", EP) (Fistfight Records) $2
Strychnine And The Rat Traps / Weston - Sleep In Depression / Dinosaur (7", Ltd, Num, Gre) (F.O.E) $12
Supergirls - Good Old Punk Rock In The Key Of D Minor (7", EP) (Liberation Records) $3
Sworn In - Sworn In (7", EP) (Bridge Nine Records) $2
Systral - Black Smoker (LP, Album, Pin) (Chrome Saint Magnus, Edison Recordings) $11
Talk Hard - Sarah Connor's Will (7") (Don Giovanni Records) $2 Tanner Boyle - Everywhere I've Never Been (7") (Red Dawg Records) $1
Tear It Up / Down In Flames - Tear It Up / Down In Flames (7", Ltd, Cle) (Die Hardcore Records) $12
Terminal State - Panic Attack (7") (Hate The 80's Records) $1
The Beast - ...Has Arrived (LP, Album) (Napalm Records) $5
The Blocked - Plastic Punks (7", Single) (Detour Records ) $2
The Breaks - Get Saved (7") (Firestarter Records) $1
The Cripples / New Luck Toy - Split (7", Pur) (Dirtnap Records) $3
The Damage Done - City Of Hope (7", Ora) (Rivalry Records) $3
The Dedication - Youth Murder Anthems (7", EP, Cle) (Deathwish) $3
The Disaster - With Years Left To Go (7", Gol) (Endwell Records) $4
The Distance - Anything Anything (7", S/Sided, Single, W/Lbl, Yel) (Armor Music) $7
The Dynamic Seven - Filthy Whore Statement (7", Gre) (Indecision Records) $4
The Effort - From Our Mistakes (7", Cle) (Hellfish Family) $14
The Effort - From Our Mistakes (7", Cle) (Hellfish Family) $14
The Effort - From Our Mistakes (7", Ltd, Num) (Hellfish Family) $14
The Flex - Scum On The Run (7", EP, Ltd, Red) (Milk Run Records, Video Disease Records) $13
Iceburn* - Iceburn (7") (Art Monk Construction) $3
The (International) Noise Conspiracy* - Capitalism Stole My Virginity (7") (G7 Welcoming Committee Records) $3
The International Noise Conspiracy - Smash It Up! (7", Whi) (Big Wheel Recreation) $5
The (International) Noise Conspiracy* - The Subversive Sound Of The Conspiracy (7")(Trans Solar) $5
The Knifeswitch - It's A Beast... It's For The Band (7") (Dying is Deadly) $1
The Love Below - Every Tongue Shall Caress (LP) (A389 Recordings) $5
The Manix - Van Activities (7", Pin) (Whoa Oh Records) $10
The Native Cats - Catspaw / Lemon Juice (7") (White Denim) $2
The Saddest Landscape - Cover Your Heart (7", EP, RE, Ltd, Blu) (Topshelf Records (2)) $10
The Sinners - Open Up Your Door / Echoes (From Your Heart) (7") (Teenage Kicks Recordings) $1
The Spudmonsters - Stand Up...For What You Believe! (LP) (Fast Break! Records) $10
The Staples - Pass It On (LP, Album) (Warner Bros. Records) $2
The Swarm aka Knee Deep In The Dead - Old Blue Eyes Is Dead (7", EP, RP, Blu) (No Idea Records) $7
The Third Degree - 7-Ply's / Kill Me (7", Blu) (Indecision Records, Finn Records) $4
The Unstoppable Youth - Eclectic Stimulation (2xLP, Album) (Stray Records) $5
The Wishniaks - Wishful Thinking (7", Ltd) (Junk Records (5)) $1
The Y - Sooo Intense (7") (Sooooo Intense Records) $2
The Year Of Our Lord - The Frozen Divide (7") (Dopamine Records ) $3
This Is Hell - Cripplers (7", EP, yel) (Trustkill Records) $3
This Machine Kills - On The Move (7", EP) (El Grito Records, Coalition Records) $1
This Machine Kills - On The Move (7", EP) (El Grito Records, Coalition Records) $1
This Scares Me - This Scares Me (7", S/Sided, Ltd, Num, Cle) (Tsunami Records (2)) $1
Thrak - Thrak (7") (Give Praise Records) $1
Thrill Of Confusion - Thrill Of Confusion (7") (Not On Label (Thrill Of Confusion Self-released)) $2
Time Flies - On Our Way (LP, Mar) (Indecision Records) $28
Tinsel - Golden Retriever (7") (Esther Records) $2
Tiny Giants - Tiny Giants (7") (Strive Records) $1
Today And Everything After - Today And Everything After (7", Ltd, Pin) (State Of Mind Recordings) $2
Tolerate - Tolerate (7", Blu) (Reaper Records (2)) $2
Tom Collins And The Cocktail Shakers - This Is Not Charlie Chaplin... (7") (Ska'Zoo Records) $7
Toru Okada - Toru Okada (LP, Album) (Shock Value Records) $15
Touché Amoré - Touché Amoré (7", Cok) (No Sleep Records) $18
Triggerman - Sinker (7") (Ringside Records) $6
Turn The Screw - Turn The Screw (7", EP) (Not Just Words Records) $2
Unbroken - You Won't Be Back (7", Single) (New Age Records) $4
Underclass - Underclass (7") (Refusenik, Tadpole Records) $2
Unity - You Are One (7", Unofficial) (Not On Label (Unity) $9
Universal Order Of Armageddon - Symptom B/W Visible Distance & Flux (7") (Jade Tree) $3
Various - ... Ascend To The Stars (7", Comp, Blu) (Threesome Records) $2
Various - (Don't Forget To) Breathe (LP, Comp, Ltd, Num + 10", Comp, Ltd, Num) (Crank!) $40
Various - Barbaric Thrash Demolition Vol. II (7", Comp) (625 Thrashcore) $2
Various - Break The Silence Vol 1 (7", Comp, RP) (Putrid Filth Conspiracy) $2
Various - Colorado Krew III - This Is My Donut (2x7", Ltd, RP) (Donut Crew, Donut Crew) $3
Various - Do It Yourself (7", EP, Comp) (Goodwill Records) $2
Various - Fuck Christianity (7", Comp) (Technicians Of The Sacred, Discos Al Pacino) $3
Various - Go In The Dark (7", Comp) (Mira Records (2)) $4
Various - It Takes Two, Baby (7", Comp, Promo) (Sympathy For The Record Industry) $40
Various - No Bullshit Vol.4 (7", EP, Comp) (No Way Records (2)) $2
Various - Noise From Nowhere Volume 2 (7") (Toxic Shock) $4
Various - Odd Man Out (7", Comp, Gre) (DSI Records, DSI Records) $3
Various - Open Zine IV (7", EP, Comp) (Open Zine) $2
Various - Second State (7", EP) (Chumpire) $3
Various - The Association Of Utopian Hologram Swallowers (2x7", Comp + CD, Comp)(Polyvinyl Record Company) $3
Various - The Kids Tribute To Warzone (7") (Unity Is All Records) $2
Various - The Littlest Revue (Original Cast Recording) (LP) (Epic) $2
Various - There's A Faggot In The Pit (7", EP, Comp) (Bobo Records) $4
Various - Three As One (7", Blu) (Change Zine) $2
Various - Tranås Är Inte Bara Hyland... (7", EP) (Fetvadd Records) $4
Various - We Still Can't Help It If We're From Florida (7", EP, Comp, RP) (Burrito Records (2)) $6
Victims - Lies Lies Lies (7", Cle) (Deathwish) $4
Voodoo Glow Skulls - Rasta Mis Huevos (7", EP, Num, Whi) (Signal Sound Systems Records) $7
War From A Harlots Mouth - In Shoals / Transmetropolitan (2xLP, Ltd, Cle) (Lifeforce Records) $27
Warehouse Value - Fucked Up On Lo-Fi (7", EP) (Mike Fitzgerald Records) $3
What's Eating Gilbert - Cheap Shots (7", EP, Tan) (Bridge Nine Records) $4
What's Eating Gilbert - The Nashville Session (7", Blu) (Paper + Plastick) $6
Wheelbite - Wheelbite (7", EP) (Malfunction Records) $2
When Tigers Fight - When Tigers Fight (7", Red) (Surprise Attack Records, Indecision Records) $3
Whir - Collider Wheel (7") (Fun With Asbestos) $5
Wohl$tandskind€r* - Die 90er Waren Zum Recyclen Da (7", EP) (Vitaminepillen Records) $10
Wolf Whistle - Demo Two & Live Wers Set (7", Cle) (Triple-B Records $10
World Be Free - The Anti-Circle (LP, Album, Gre) (Revelation Records) $30
Zoinks! / The Gain - Zoinks! / The Gain (7", EP) (Rhetoric Records, Rhetoric Records) $1
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The Bay of Angels, by Carole Maso

An alternate excerpt from this unfinished novel can be read here.
Roses and apples and snow continue to fall while the living carry their keepsakes: their small bouquets, their trophies, their testimonies, their diplomas and scrolls--and pale birds swoop. Roses and angels, the century, fall on the horizon, and snow. Feel them now as they move slowly into you. Their sweet and round--everything for a while--and you are getting, you are--undeniably--you are getting sleepy. Roses and apples and snow, angels, while the living in this place cradle their symbols and myths, their bowl of infinite tears, their fierce bouquets, their inventions--all they have made: pyramid and wheel, lint brush and paper clip, knit 2, purl 3, their names: Sophie and Rachel and Rose and Petra and Hannah and Hildegarde, Renee Benededetti, Mavis O'Malley, Fisher, Shoemaker, Goodman, Rosenbloom--their pockets overstuffed with apples and roses and poems. They've wrapped them in brown paper so that they might survive, placed them in the shelter of shoe or museum or leather box. And they remember their stories with longing: we used to take the rabbit path. Photographs in lockets and locks of hair. You had the most beautiful--But you are getting sleepy now. Roses the century and so many apples . . . angels. Songs written for a duduk in the time of Christ. And you are getting sleepy as apples and roses move into your pale bird bones: they are hollow, they are lighter than air and snow. You are sleepy . . .
. . . And now the Madame. The mad concierge, with spinning wheel and metronome approaches through angels and snow, with hatbox, with pendulum and rose, chalice and motive and oblivion, ditch and glass and hanger and forceps.
Help.
Feel your opaque bones which remarkably, even here, still emit small quantities of light, get sleepy now, heavy with snow and the century which undeniably falls while the unborn drag their empty baskets of souvenirs and roses, their silver baby cups engraved with tears, and the living with their oaths, their vows, their slang, their desperate code. Limoges will stand for help, and danger will be called The Closed Book. And death is near will be called Rien a Faire. Peas in a Pod will mean the coast is clear. S.O.S. will mean meet me please, it's urgent--at the Hôtel de Ville. And Stabat Mater will stand for look after the child should anything happen.
And the living carry their kettles, their hot water bottles, their compasses and barometers. And the living, wearing disguises trudge through the landscape of the dead and say never mind--cherish whatever has been left behind. A rhyme from the Hundred Years War, a song: I never thought you'd leave in Spring. A memory: we made perfume in the garden while our father watered the roses and wept. Tears continue to fall. Cling to your pencils. Hold out your small cups.
And when I tell you the story of Pierre and the cafe it will mean Run! Go quickly and hide. It will mean I am afraid.
Rosy angels and apples and roses and all we loved continue to fall like tears, move into your bones, mementos and bouquets, while they weep and bargain and plead and she appears dressed in a little Chanel suit and veil, carrying her wishbone, her black hourglass and metronome, counting the snow, and the centuries, while apples and roses, and you are--you are, aren't you?--sleepy. And okay, okay you are pregnant and hungry, and there are roses to tend--but not now--even those who love you would say as much, and it is and you are getting undeniably sleepy now--while the living try to nudge you awake with promises of bon bons and tobogganing, the Etude #12, the Symphony #3, their dreamy catalogs and you're undeniably moved by them but who can resist the Madame with her bobbin and abyss and book of numbers and sleepy now.
Une femme chaque nuit Voyage en grand secret.
And the living with their pettiness and greed, their small and large cruelties, their harnesses--their thread and lampshades, and alligator handbags. And the men with yellow hair collect blood in their little blood collectors, and vowels in a jar. And the living with their brothels, their New York publishing houses, and locks without keys and you are getting sleepier. Sleepy. Shhh. Shhh. Go to sleep now.
And I ask the men with yellow hair, why do they put up their windshield wipers when the squeegee men come? And the living bow their heads in acts of contrition and the living say forgive us and forgive us our trespasses and the century shatters. And the Madame says come with me and entrée libre and roses. And apples and snow which I try to catch on my dreamy tongue: I was always hungry there.
And the living say: twelve fish. And eleven are the stars in Joseph's dream. And ten are the commandments and I am getting sleepy. And the living carry their miracles. In the beginning was the word . . . On the seventh day . . . And in the desert . . . And the living stripped of everything still say, still whisper: When we get there, and it's as if as if--and then no more. And the living will soon be dead. And the living, madly scribbling will fall into procession. Life may be a cylinder of tears then, or the sorrowful mysteries, or flowers pressed in a closed book. Life may be a heart shaped box or a blindfold or the closed book the women are forbidden. They can never open it. But the men say never mind. And the living pack their suitcases of roses and diplomas and apples and snow and whisper, when we get there and they wait for their instructions in the gray square.
And she says to me hurry as I pack my last alligator bag, and put on my sun hat. And she says very chic, very smart, and she says you are getting so very--
Sleepy. Roses and dark apples and the century falls into your innocent lap. And you remember once more late coffee and oranges and a sunny chair. And the baby you've carried these long months about to be born into roundness and snow. She takes her pendulum and sighs, your breasts like bread, she says. Your belly. . . . She takes out her blurry numbers, her box of fat snow and says count with me, count backwards with me into oblivion or love, into the as if, and if only and last hope with me, as the century shatters all around us and the living become the dead and pale birds swoop. Breathe, breathe--
Deeply now. Dissolving.
Almost but not even. Leave this life. Why is this night different from all other nights? Leave this life behind. Say bye-bye, say bye cruel world. And she holds the closed book in her hands. Say good-bye undeniably cruel and beautiful world. Just walk away Renee. Walk away now.
We used to take the rabbit path.
She engraves no fear on my forehead, no harm on my forehead in snow. Count backwards now. Count apples. Count roses into forgetfulness. Most undeniably beautiful world where we used to--say good-bye.
And nine are the months of childbirth. And seven are the days of the week. And you are getting sleepy. She takes out her metronome and thorn. She takes out the third inversion of the seventh chord and goes down one note a perfect fifth lower. She takes out her black hourglass and catechism, she reads Lamb of God and World without End. She plays the murdered chord, touches my round belly and says please forgive us, someone forgive us our sins. The century falling and roses on an unmarked grave. Best to--What was your name there? she asks.
Sophie, I say. Best to count backwards. Sophie. Best to forget. She holds up an enormous flash card: TEN
TEN
Ten. Where you were happy. Breathe deeply now. Yes, where Father would do his funny walk that would make us laugh so hard we fell in the grass. His black overcoat. His hat . . .
Where there was do, re, mi, where there was a,b,c and world without end. Where I learned to write my name: Sophie. The thrilling, the dangerous S. Where I was left breathless.
And the living carry their precious alphabet. Their nominations and prizes, their laurels and accolades. Their diplomas.
Mother I've gotten triple stars on the end of term exam!
When Mother was so proud.
And the living with their monuments, their tributes. Yes, Madame says, putting her feet up, their monuments: the North Pyramid of Senefern; Dashur, that was our pleasure. The Temple of Luxor. The Sphinx of Chephren decked in royal headdress, false beard and cobra brow ornament. The Baths of Rome. The Baths of Greenwich Village. The pagodas and pallazzi and pallazzini. Bauhaus, apse, forget about it. Gaudi, Frank Lloyd Wright. The Eight Great Wonders, the Six Senses, the 32 Temples, the 1,578 Pleasures, leave this life. Everything ever made. You are getting--
The Bridge of Sighs. The Hôtel de Ville which was our paradise--the endless corridors of desire--more and more and little more--your milky skin and honey. I was always hungry there, where we were left breathless every time. Once more con brio and entrée libre and L'amour fou and we were alive.
NINE
Nine. At the table, table songs. The table that held more food than we could ever finish. Bread and fish. Goose and hen. Apple butter and strudel. Rejoice. May I have more? And the apples and honey and wine that lit the night. And we danced in a circle. The Madame remembers the dervishes, the line dances, the minuet, the tango, the two step. Ecstatic dancing to nonsense texts. To klezmer and prophets. Celebrate. Hold hands in a circle. And my sister, Rachel singing. She had the most beautiful--
My milk bottle, my chatterbox. What did you learn in school today, my dear one--Sophie? The laughter, our happiness, bread rising silently in the dark, a circle dance, table songs we sang by heart.
Where Mother was so proud: The joy has been in watching you grow. The joy has been in loving you.
And roses continue to fall. And apples. Apple butter and strudel in the warm kitchen while outside snow fell. And out the wavy glass snow collecting on his shoulder--a shoulder you loved. Father with his shovel and glove. He grew roses. We made perfume from petals and rosewater. Snow continues to fall. And ashes, ashes. Let them all fall, the strange one with the pendulum, with hook and eye, says. Glass that shatters. Sorry, she whispers but you are sleepy. And the mad dervish sings a drugged lullaby, leave this life, and the glass whispers, leave your precious life behind. And the table songs you knew by heart. And all human thought. Quaquaqua she says and dogmatic rationalism. Radical empiricism, transcendental idealism. The Cartesian Circle, the Golden Rectangle, a priori, Madame chants, epistemology and you are getting sleepy. The role of virtue, forget about that, Kierkegaard, Kant's Imperative, the young Hegel, the old Marx, Spinoza and geometry, forget about Heidegger already. She goes up an octave, shrill, forget about free will. God speaks his eternal No to the world. For Christ's sake forget about God. Dasein and Entfernung. Gerworfenheit and Gezundtheit.
"That we are still not thinking stems from the fact that the thing itself that must be thought about turns away from man, has turned away long ago," Madame reads from the Heidegger pamphlet. So don't worry about it.
a) Nothing is. b) If something was, it could not be known, c) If something could be known, it could not be communicated. EIGHT.
EIGHT
Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaquaqua with white beard quaquaquaqua outside time without extension who from the heights of divine apathia divine athambia divine aphasia loves us dearly with some exceptions for reasons unknown but time will tell and suffers like the divine Miranda with those who for reasons unknown but time will tell
Your alphabet was Roman. Your numerals were Arabic. Your language was English. Or was it? Once in your language there was a word for longing and wandering and sadness. Once there was a word for black stallion. Once there was do, re, mi and a, b, c. Ring around the Rosy. And roses. Once there was a book.
Check in your name here. Your place of birth. Your handful of dates. Hand in your passport. Your Michelin Guide. Your video and MCI cards, your library--and the card for the piscine.
Once we sang. Once we came to this square of gray dirt and sang.
She was knitting a baby blanket with pink wool when the men followed us up the rabbit path home after our game of Hide and Seek. The little cat asleep in the basket.
When I enter a cafe in search of Pierre and he is not there, he is no more not there because of my expectation, than he is not there when I had not thought of him.
And she babbled her apple vowels in any order they wanted. The air grows vaguely sweet. Yes, he grew roses. Check in your name, your place, your licenses and pedigrees, your small dates.
Snow falls. Snow falls all over the world tonight. Say goodbye. In your language there were one hundred words for snow. Five. Five. No not yet, six. Six, then.
SIX
Windows and mirrors and crystal, good nacht. Candelabras. The Venetian chandelier and lamps and glass trays and eyeglasses but how shall I see, my vision is weak? Her collection of demitasse cups. And the window that framed the shoulder you loved. And the glass flowers. Her small ornamental birds . . . Shatter. Limoges. A border of roses.
And the Madame magnifies her metronome and pendulum. Pumps up the volume. Give over, give over now to tick and tock. To quaquaqua. She opens the box. Let snow fall like silence on your pretty, on your drowsy, your undeniably sleepy head.
Water was your pleasure once. So what? You loved to listen to your sister talk about the birds. You swam across the lake. She and Father would follow you in a boat. / never thought you'd leave in Spring.
Love might be a circle or a chandelier, but not here. Or dancing--your hand entwined in mine. Your happiness may have been an S or an 8 or the sign for infinity. Dried fish or a wurst or a knish. Candles on fire. A bit of Schnapps. Your happiness one day may be a word for black stallion or a Mercedes or the TGV or the sleek autobahn or Berlin Alexanderplatz--but not now. A toboggan or a boat. Or the roses. He grew the most magnificent--
Winter roses and the century continue to fall. You can stop your wandering. You can stop your wandering now.
Love might be--And the little cat Schnitzel comes back after--after so many days away we took her for dead. And her shining fur and that first glimpse, after complete resignation, after hopeless--through the pane of glass--come home in the snow--ice and stars on that radiant frame.
Mamma, come quickly to the window, she is back'.
And his return, and the snow on his shoulder after the Many Years War. Home.
Your language was German. Your color was red. Your day of the week was Saturday. In your language there was a word for wandering and sadness and homesick. A word for black stallion. Your number was three. You had the most beautiful singing voice. Younger sister. You could call the birds from the trees.
May I interrupt this quaint revery for a moment, she laughs? The Madame stands by with her tar and feathers. Blood sausage and embers and looks at the dead. They were once my friends. Come with me she says come with me to five where you will not starve, where you will not die.
FIVE
Where we will not starve. Forget the dead who are so hungry they cannot close their eyes. They bite down on air. Sitting at the long table. Biting down forever on air. And they can never close their eyes . . .
. . . They used to say after a particularly bitter winter that it made the spring all the more tender and dear, all the more sweet.
In the fragrant, wild, rainy springtime. It could have been the day of your birth. The house covered with roses again. The brass water tap turned green. The snails have left their shells. Black trees on a green mountain. Birds swooping
Let it all fall--a) nothing is; b) if something was,
FOUR
I wish we had the time to have Rachel tell you about each bird, where they are from, where they migrate to, the habits of each . . .
THREE
Where there was fa, sol, la, ti, now the silent table. Where there were table songs sung from memory, now the silent table.
Where there were the apple vowels that once saved you oooooh and ahhhhh and ohhhhhhh, now the silent table.
TWO
When they came from behind the trees while we were playing Hide and Seek and followed us through the woods and up the rabbit path home, I understood it as I hadn't before: the x was on my house.
ONE
And now like a cat gone out on a long journey and come back, your second lids close, and then your first, and you are asleep finally at the silent table and you rest your head. Mamma and Pappa have gone--nothing can be done.
And the glass shatters backwards into silence. One. Where the open graves suture themselves closed into beautiful earth, undisturbed. And the river flows free of blood for once.
And the kicking and healthy child on the verge of her birth floats back into remoteness, curls back into a circle--you will remember none of this--just as well.
I was seven months pregnant there.
But she is up to her elbows in red, now wielding her mad forceps, her tongs, her claw. Her fishbone and kill. Singing a Stabat Mater. Almost but not
And she says, the Madame pleads, the maker of angels begs, You will remember nothing. At the number after One ... I was seven months pregnant there, you will remember none, nothing of this. Almost but not. And there's blood everywhere and she waves her pincers and star magic and wand. Almost but not even. Have mercy. Apples and snow and roses are falling. The century. The child falling forever. Have mercy on us.
And the Madame catches the almost but not, the seven months in a hat box, falling.
Almost but not even a baby yet. Angel. And it falls kerplunk into the hat box. We all fall. Rien a faire. Nothing can be done now. And the mother stands, falling.
And we, invisible for a prolonged moment embrace in that all but evacuated square. Where has everyone gone? Say goodbye.
Falling. My daughter forever. Where are you?
Once there was almost a child with apple cheeks conceived in snow and she was called Rose.
Apples and roses and snow. Angels at our feet. Mercy.
You will remember nothing. Zero. Zip. Nothing now. And she is waiting there in the place after One. And she takes off her red soaked gloves and she shakes my hand and smiles--coltish, coquettish and girlish and blushing a little. Enchantee. She asks, What is your name? I shrug. Says, What were you called there? I shrug. Says, What was the configuration of your village?
I do not know.
What do you remember?
Stabat Mater and autobahn. We were going to go to the--numbers that descend. She smiles and opens her palm. A bon bon. Inviting me to the place where we will not starve.
What was your name there?
I shake my head no. I do not know.
She sings, "Hail wind from afar, desert and you, forgetfulness!"
And now like a cat having used up only a fraction of your possible lives--your light--
My Remoteness, My Amnesia, she says--the only place still possible to live. Her hands flutter across her face and she offers bittersweet chocolates, bits of honey and apple and nuts. Bon bons. Come here my Sweet. And she is clucking and cooing and taking teeny, tiny baby steps backward. Baby steps. Bon bon steps backward. Baby. This way that way yes, here, yes, no, as we step and step and she says go lightly, and she says heads up and she says come quickly, step gently, and we traverse over fields and fields and fields of the dead. And she says go lightly, they were once my friends. And darkness streams from the open eyes of the dead. We'll need a torch, she says. And the dead say Someone shaved our heads at night while we were sleeping. Someone collected the gold from our throats and we will no longer sing. Someone stole all that could be stolen.
Father would do his funny walk--of course.
And the Madame says with her notebook and abacus, step quickly, come quickly. She brandishes a butterfly net. She says bon bon and yo yo and figure eight. She says home and safe and soon we'll be home.
And the dead shall be called Invisible Cities and Rien a Faire. And the Madame says p? Suffis, and Entree Libre. She says Come quickly and Faster, but then stops.
Yes, she hisses, but is it you? Is it really you? She asks me for the note I have carried all this way in my shoe. And she points her torch at it while the dead without opus number recall table songs and sweet wine and ask what was our crime? And the dead who are, dear God, now everywhere just want to know. And she cheers and applauds and does a pirouette. Reading again and again the note written in a language of stars and glass. In a language of dots and dashes. Shatter and flame. In a language of ash.
I follow her, this moonwalker, to the soon we'll be home. To the soon we'll be at the door called No Harm, the door called Safe. Over this path of shattered glass.
I step over last stories, songs, wishes, recipes, requests, questions, small leather boxes, candles on fire, arms and legs and heads, and bottles of Schnapps.
The skull sings a boating song. Alone at last with you, wiving . . . twilight approaching ... the willows . . .
Shut up, she screams. Shut up already! And she turns to me, step quickly, go lightly.
And the skull remembers her mother. Such beautiful hair. Each night. One hundred strokes.
She writes No Harm in a language I do not understand on my forehead. She writes No Fear. And she suddenly notices my luggage. We'll need a chariot, a chariot, a chariot for your bags, all the while taking little baby steps, cha cha steps back. Baby. Viens ici, my sweet, my pet, swinging vaguely in my direction the butterfly net. Hurry.
Come with me I promise you anything you want. Dancing boys and minty drinks. Odessa. Nice and Antibes. A spa! Anything you want. She's shameless. She says I like your sun hat, but I know Madame would say just about anything to get me on to that chariot.
What do you recall?
I remember only the mystery of book and rose. Rose and baby snow. A shock of red. Numbers that descend.
She smiles, I promise you memory one day.
I remember Hide and Seek and forceps and thorn. And red and red. And the x.
The Madame whirls around midnight wearing micro mini and veil, alb and stole, and pumps and lines she has painted up the backs of her legs, saying the darkest evening of the year, cradling skulls, weeping, checking pulses with a gloved hand. Numbers that descend. Chaque nuit, une femme--
Madame is exotic--night blooming. Beautiful in her Houdini suit. She sings a mad aria: HURRY. And the dead say bring us back. Let us dance. And the dead say listen to us for once. And the dead say write this down and get it published. And Madame screams Enough in a voice of dissolving lines and shattering glass, Maria Callas and baby blanket and Diamonda Galas, as the numbers drain and the hatbox turns red. The voice of five, four, three, of blood and frogs and cattle disease, of boils and hail and darkness and I promise and I'm sorry and I promise and no harm now and life without end.
The x was on my house.
And apples like heart beats continue to fall. She says hurry now, into the chariot. She says what's this with the sun hat and where the hell do you think you're going anyway? And quaquaqua and her legs dissolving no, and she shrieks as the snow turns to rain and the dead become deader, hurry. And the living with their vows and promises, their half-baked schemes, their novels and French lessons and charm schools, and guidebooks, their footnotes and postscripts, their small escape hatches.
She coaxes me onto her foul rag and bone shop, singing in a falsetto, we're peas in a pod! We're Fred and Ginger, we're Cagney and Lacey, we're--we're--And I collect my alligator bags in the night in the rain in my ridiculous sun hat and step onto the horseless carriage. What choice do I have? And she whispers Safe and No Harm and Home. And she makes a cross in ash on my forehead now. She turns on the torch. Lifts her half glasses from her breast. Sighs and squeals. Gurgles, coos, laughs. Does a triple pirouette. My beauty, my future, my savior, my best idea yet!
What were you called there?
I shrug.
She holds my small forgetful hand in hers. What was the configuration of your village?
I do not know.
What can you remember?
Nothing now. How odd.
Excellent! she says and does another spin. My Beautiful Forgetfulness.
And she settles into the rickety chariot and puts on her kidskin gloves. Repeat after me, she says. The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. As flip flops and forceps and bikini bottoms and bon bons tumble out of the chariot. The rain in Spain . . . And the child Picasso appears for a moment drawing infinity and figure eights and the dead whisper Guernica there. Again: the rain in Spain stays mainly . . . I think you've got it!
She revs up the chariot, and a squeegy man comes by wanting to clean the window for some bread, and she puts up her windshield wipers and screams, GO!!! as the glass shatters and her voice does the forty lashes.
She prepares for departure. Only at midnight, she whispers, only on the new moon which is no moon at all. And no stars. Shall we take the upper or the lower corniche?
What are angels, she asks, shining her torch.
I shrug.
What were you called there?
I do not know.
Say Petra.
Petra.
Say Petra, again.
Petra.
Say Petra.
She snips a glittering lock of hair and smiles pure gold and places it in an envelope. This must be my lucky day. Say life everlasting. She opens a black catechism: say world without end.
What is the true cross, she asks, thumbing madly. She screams. Raises a small periscope. Checking the darkness for danger. Prepare for blast off! In the new moon which is no moon at all and all the stars out. Roses continue to fall. Don't linger. Don't linger quite so long. They are alas--they are undeniably dead, sadly, yes, for God's sake dead!
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Une femme chaque nuit, Voyage en grand secret.
What is your name?
I forget.
Say Greta. Try Greta.
Greta.
Say Greta again.
Greta.
Try Gretchen.
How many angels . . .
She peers through the periscope at something and shrieks into the black rain with her red veil and fang, with her garlic and cross. You're a collaborator's collaborationist!!! To the manor born! Groomed since birth for the post! You're a one trick pony. A wolf in a sheep suit. I know all about it. I heard it through the Arab's telephone. And she whispers blood sausage, and she whispers how much and she whispers, what have you done for me lately? And she exchanges hair for bread, gold for bread, anything for bread. And she holds up the metronome and bargains for time--and the black hourglass shatters.
The true cross may be a wishbone or an x. Numbers that descend. It may be the stain left on the sheet or the apple vowels that saved her--
When I enter a cafe in search of Pierre and he is not there--
The true cross may be the pregnant woman standing, her arms outstretched--before the pit she will be shot into. The true cross may be the Stabat Mater or the Madeleine qui pleure. The true cross may be the book the women are forbidden ever to open.
The true cross may be a woman with no home, who hoists her child into the air pleading for money or just a morsel of food--an apple, some bread, in one of your cities. The true cross may be a tortured figure hanging upside down so that his Shylocked pockets can be emptied of everything.
She holds up her bony hand and cackles. She says she carries a bit of the true cross in her ring. She says when we get there and she says if you're good--she's got papal vestments galore, just wait and see!
It may be 1945 or 1993 or 222 or 12 BC or World War I. It may be the end of the world or just the middle, and the skull sings a boating song. Remembering the Seine and moonlight. And the French say j'ai faim and the French say cassoulet and pomme frites. Pate and pate brisee. And the French say send more Tabasco Sauce when you get a chance. Fewer American films.
And the dead have four questions and three cups and five sorrowful mysteries. And the dead carry the sixth book of the Aeneid: their words are shadows now and they long for their long distance telephone cards. And the dead recall the true cross as they chew forever on an imaginary mutton leg. They are so hungry, still. And the dead remember the true cross: chemotherapy and shock treatment and ddl. And some of the dead remember being in the capriccio of health--except for one thing: someone was hurting them. Or they were starving or--
Gas pellets release a strange perfume. It's as if--as if . . .
And the dead ask what was our crime? That we sang, that we loved sweet wine? And the dead cry.
Someone stole all that could be stolen.
The skull says when I was a boy we used to take the toboggan up to Mount Ararat . . . And in the spring that same mountain covered with wildflowers.
And the skull sings a song of Odessa . . . pearl of the sea ... Remember me . . .
And the Madame weeps and performs mouth to mouth and Stabat Mater--Late magic and recruitments and resuscitations. And I'd like to do a little CPR on you, she grins, a little mouth to mouth on you my sweet she says with glee, and dreams of her after-hours bars and redemptions and charms. And the dead whisper we are smoke, and Madame says enough already and enough already with the jokes.
And the dead gnawing on an imaginary mutton leg--
Bite down on air. And the silent table. And the quiet.
There was a child once . . .
The joy has been in watching you grow. The joy has been in loving you.
And the dead whisper, set us free now. They used to carry their miracles. Their faith. Grace. Go to the desert and pray for your true name. Take back the vowels. And take back the consonants too. And the dead hand us back the alphabet and they say help us if you can; they say do something--or nothing--and shrug. And the dead whisper we are tired now. Let us go.
And the dreaming dead, crucified to a wishbone think when we get there . . .
I never thought you'd leave with the roses in bloom.
Love may be a child. Conceived in joy. Imagined with hope. Someone stole our beautiful hair . . .
And the dead shall be called Rose and Rosen and Rosenberg and Rosenbloom. And the dead shall be called, God help them--God love them for once--they shall be called Invisible Cities and Rien a Faire and Rabbit Path.
They used to say after a particularly bitter winter that--you know.
The inevitable nostalgia for 10.
The true cross may be the healthy and kicking apple child, shattered. Or the black book, unborn in them, that they are forbidden forever to open.
The true cross is the vowels and the vowels she spoke. When the men came with yellow hair and red breaking on their arms, she feigned ecstasy every time--oooooh and ahhhhh and ohhhhhhh so she would be spared. And the men came back with yellow hair over and over for more.
Someone stole all that could be stolen.
What is an angel, she asks?
A woman x'ed to a bed.
In the all but evacuated square.
The angels shall be called Rachel and Nathan and Sophie and Sol. And the angels shall be pictured holding goblets and chalice and waiting for Elijah or Godot to show. They are so patient.
Tears have fallen for centuries. Cling to your pencils. Hold out your small cup. Dream.
And the angels shall be called pagoda and pyramid. And the chorus of angels shall be called Cambodia. And children of Cambodia. And the chorus of angels shall be called Sarajevo. And Children of Sarajevo.
And the angels shall be called Egarian, Kavafian, Bedrosian, Zakarian, Agoyam, Sarkisian and they shall play duduks instead of harps and they shall dance again.
The angels shall be called Alphabet and Song. Pray for us. And the angels shall be called Baby and Baby Blanket. Hear our prayer.
The true cross is the silent table where we are asked to sit quietly forever. And the true cross is the stain left on the sheet in the shape of an "a" or a "u." Une femme chaque nuit pinned on a bed of vowels.
The true cross is the body of a woman nailed to a closed book.
Please take my hand for a moment, and come here to this feather bed: under the eiderdown, the duvet, the perfumed sheets, the pillows plumped--come close--and before we go any further--before you admire my loops and curves and curls, take my hand and whisper in my ear, tell me
What was our crime?
The x was on my eyes. The x was on my mouth.
But the angels shall be called Desire and Peas in a Pod and Chatterbox. Sophie and Ava and Rose. And they shall live on the earth again some day. And they shall dance.
And the living press apples and roses to their breasts remembering. Snow falls all over the world tonight. Close your eyes.
What is your name?
Say Greta. Try Greta.
What is your name for now?
Greta.
submitted by MilkbottleF to ProsePorn [link] [comments]

Raymond Queneau - Three stories and selected texticles [translated by Mara Cologne Wythe-Hall]

Published in Stories and Remarks (University of Nebraska Press, 2000):

Green With Fright

An alternate translation by Barbara Wright (under the title "A Blue Funk") was published in French Writing Today, edited by Simon Watson Taylor (Grove Press, 1969):
As far as I can remember, I've always been afraid of anything that might give me any trouble; I thus was successively afraid of the bogeyman, wax figures in the Dupuytren museums, places overly frequented by vehicles, hoodlums, flowerpots that fall on heads, ladders, the clap, the pox, the Gestapo, V-2S. Peace did not, of course, in any way ease these alarms; thus, the other evening, I'm eating some chestnut puree, and I begin to dream that I'm in a djip and that the driver wasn't going to avoid a thick pillar, I see it coming, I tell myself that we're crashing into it, there it is, we crashed into it, everything goes black; in the blackness, I say to myself: I'm dead, I say to myself: so that's what it's like when you die, and then I wake up, my stomach distended and my heart beating. I turn the lights on, I look at my watch, it's two o'clock, two o'clock in the morning, still pretty early, and I get up to take a piss. As I don't use a chamberpot, I have to go to the toilet. There's a long corridor. I go down it saying: if this, if that. I manage to scare myself, and I go into the john quite happy to be able to close the door behind me, to make this long story short, and feel at home, and not only to close the door, but also to turn the lock.
I piss.
I pull the chain.
When the hygienic gurgling quieted down, I sensed the presence of nothingnesses in the corridor, without any atmosphere of existence, which made me warm in the teeth, cold under the fingernails, general horripilation. An abject fright grabbed hold of my soul, and, putting my head in my hands, I sat down on the toilet seat, bemoaning my vile fate. The presence of these nothingnesses without any atmosphere of existence was obviously the fruit (immaculately conceived) of my imagination taken to the brinks of shittery under the influence of the chestnut puree. This explanation, valid from the point of view of many an ism, could not help, of course, but fully satisfy my penchant for philosophical studies, but did nothing, alas! to prevent the existence of the nothingnessing atmospheres of presence from lurking about in the corridor, thirsting after cerumen and depravity, swollen with their labile pointlessness and their inappropriate onanism.
An hour passed.
I felt the ambiences full of the nothingness of their present existence flatten themselves against the door of the bog, dribble their loathsome purulence against it and twist around the doorknob, like a lemon upon the cone that will extract its acidic and citric liquid. They deeply disgusted me. And as for myself, I remained seated on the toilet seat, bemoaning my fate, and I could see, blurring through my tears, the parallelepipedic shape and the downy touch of my sack, where I had dreamily smashed in my face in a djip.
I would very much have liked to have gone back to it, to go to sleep, to try to, but there was the atmosphere of existences without presence and without nothingness that, lurking in the corridor, prevented me from giving the lock the 1800 rotation that would have been the first step toward hitting the hay in which I was longing t'snorze. I'm timorous, certainly, as I said, I realize it, but I've never sought to avoid bitter reality, I've always looked it inna face. Since I was stuck for more than two hours in this spot that is sometimes described, and childishly so, as "little," I had to resign myself and found a society there of which I would be at once Robinson and Friday, and, just as the hero of the British novel saw trunks full of workman's treasures brought by a sea both benevolent and subject to a Neptune named Defoe, I thus discovered in a little cabinet the first elements of my Robinsonism in the form of a toolbox very decently stocked with nails, hammers, pliers, screws, and hooks, not to mention a folding rule that measured twelve decimeters, an archaeological trace of a duodecimal-based civilization.
But the presences without nothingness of ambient existence continued to lurk in the corridor, leaving their trail of preternatural, abulic, and subperceptible snail-slobber.
Five hours trickled along the toilet chain, which communicated, through some architectural subtlety, with the Empire clock next door.
The discovery of the toolbox restored my courage. I got up, I took a second piss, I pulled the foresaid chain and began to hammer nails into the wall, this attitude having at that moment, for me, no precise goal. I simply demonstrated in this manner my ambient presence of existing nothingness. And as I overheard, at my bedroom doorstep, having gotten up in the middle of the night from having eaten too much chestnut puree and desirous of having a piss, the muffled sound of the hammer being wielded in the toilet by a nothingness present in an existing ambiance, I made an about-turn, scared shitless, and went back to bed.

Dream Accounts Aplenty

Alternate translation: "Accounts of Abundant Dreams," by Brigitte Lambert, in Atlas Anthology III, edited by Alastair Brotchie and Malcolm Green (Atlas Press, 1985):
I go to a mathematicians' luncheon. The first guest who arrives is carrying a cello. Although we are in one of the inner suburbs, we find ourselves before a brook with water lilies sprouting from it. One of the mathematicians present points out how Heraclitus was mistaken in saying that one never bathes in the same river twice: when one drinks a glass of water there are surely several molecules of H2O that have already passed through our body. The others agree.
I run into an Arab and tell him about the death of a Spanish worker with whom he was acquainted. He isn't surprised, for this worker was working on a building site where an iron ball had fallen on his head. I approach the neighboring building site: the Seine has overrun the foundations. They've had to cut off the water.
My sister-in-law brings back the books I had lent her. I was unable to remember their titles. She is driving a little car with automatic transmission and complains of rheumatism.
I am in the country at the home of a doctor. He is grilling some eggplants and cutlets, which catch fire, then he plays the lute.
One of my friends is dead. Another of my friends whom I haven't seen in a long time goes to kiss him on the forehead. A third asks me the identity of a lady who is present. I tell him: "She's the head of manufacturing." He: "The head of manufacturing's wife?"--"No," I say to him, "the head of manufacturing." He goes to shake her hand.
The butcher's wife writes me a letter, asking me to leave the shutters a L'italienne. I wonder why and what she means.
I am in a little town whose topography is unfamiliar to me. I try to follow the same route as the day before. I venture, however, down a narrow alley whose buildings seem abandoned. There is a barbershop there without barber or clients. I wonder what he could have been thinking to have set up shop in a spot with so little traffic. Leaving this alley I see a fat lady in pants who is walking a cat at the end of a long leash and who is accompanied by a Siberian spitz.
I enter a church that is still adorned with a traditional altar. On a sheet of commercial-sized paper posted on the confessional there is a list of the members of the brotherhood of Saint Rose. I read it carefully. Then I examine with equal care the foot of a Romanesque column decorated with a hare and a snail. As I am about to leave, a priest in a cassock enters. I ask him what the Saint Rose brotherhood is. He explains it to me, but I have only retained a confused recollection of his explanations concerning the brotherhood (it's a matter of consecrated bread ... of masses spoken . . .); as to the saint, he stresses that it is not the Saint Rose of Lima, but a local saint. A little later, I find myself in an isolated hamlet. There is a church there that is associated with the Hôtel de Sens in Paris. The neighboring farmer has lent the key so that it can be visited. He arrives bare-chested, accompanied by his wife, who is wearing shorts. Before us there is a pond; the ducks and drakes are going to sleep for it is very late. The moon is almost full.
I ask in a cafe where the Saint-Baudel chapel is located. No one knows except for the proprietress, who shows me the way. I find it without difficulty. Inside I see two nearly nude boys on mattresses; pennants of the Jeune Garde on the walls, but the sixteenth century paintings that I was expecting to find are still on the ceiling.
In an absolutely deserted village, a countryman in the main square is trying to make a parachute-shaped kite rise up into the air.
I have rented a house, which I leave in order to go into the garden. I am surprised to find a lady there in the midst of shelling peas. She is settled on a rocking chair: "Come over to our side, then." I apologize, stammering, and close the door behind me.
I see a poster kept under glass over a grave. It is the speech made by a miller in 1896; a speech that he had printed: a eulogy to his mother who died at the age of eighty-two. He is the third of eighteen children. The word "fatal" is in the text, and others of the same sort. I go into the neighboring church, which has been restored with shiny exposed beams and handrails with neon lighting. Two little gothic carved figures, however, remain. I go out and again find myself in the cemetery. They have grouped together the graves of those who died in the war. There are four of them. The crosses that surmount the graves and the chains that join them together are in wrought iron of a peculiar style. I go to reread the miller's speech.
Some parents visit Saint-Benoit with their little girl. I am looking attentively at the capitals when the father says to me (addressing me familiarly): "Explain to her what mass is." I look at the little girl. She must be six years old. I ask: "Has she received a Christian upbringing?" "No," he replies. I feel rather muddled and keep quiet while the father launches into explanations that the little girl listens to with round eyes. The mother smiles. She has purchased some cakes: they are good, it seems, at Saint-Benoit-sur-Loire.
Seated at a table on the terrace in a little provincial town, I am looking at the statue of a physicist and, in spite of the twilight that is transforming into night, am trying to make out the inscriptions on the pedestal. All of a sudden, sirens. People come to the windows. Some time passes. The shutters close again. There are no more onlookers when the fire engine passes by. Then an individual suddenly appears from the darkness, whose face reminds me of that of a mulish alcoholic of Depot 24 during the phony war. He comes up to me and holds his hand out, calling me master.
Of course none of these dreams are any more real than they are invented. They are simply minor incidents taken from wakened life. A minimal effort of rhetoric seemed sufficient to give them a dreamlike aspect.
That's all I wanted to say.

A Story of Your Own

Alternate translations: "Yours for the Telling", by John Crombie, and "A Story as You Like It," by Warren Motte, in Oulipo: A Primer of Potential Literature (Dalkey Archive Press, 1998).
1—Would you like to know the story of the three lively little peas?
if yes, go to 4 if no, go to 2.
2—Would you prefer that of the three tall slender beanpoles?
if yes, go to 16 if no, go to 3.
3—Would you prefer that of the three medium-sized mediocre bushes?
if yes, go to 17 if no, go to 21.
4—Once upon a time there were three little peas dressed in green who were sleeping soundly in their pod. Their oh so chubby faces were breathing through the holes of their nostrils and one could hear their sweet, harmonious snoring.
if you prefer another description, go to 9 if this one suits you, go to 5.
5—They were not dreaming. In fact, these little beings never dream.
if you prefer that they dream, go to 6 otherwise, go to 7.
6—They were dreaming. In fact, these little beings always dream and their nights secrete charming visions.
if you want to know these dreams, go to 11 if you’re not particularly keen to, then go to 7.
7—Their dainty feet were dipped in warm socks and they wore black velvet gloves to bed.
if you prefer gloves of a different color go to 8 if this color suits you, go to 10.
8—They wore blue velvet gloves to bed.
if you prefer gloves of a different color, go to 7 if this color suits you, go to 10.
9—Once upon a time there were three little peas knocking about on the highways. When evening came, they quickly fell asleep, tired and weary.
if you want to know the rest, go to 5 if not, go to 21.
10—All three had the same dream, for they loved each other tenderly and, like good and proud thrins, always had similar dreams.
if you want to know their dream, go to 11 if not, go to 12.
11—They dreamed that they were getting their soup at the soup kitchen and that on opening their billies they discovered that it was vetch soup. They woke up, horrified.
if you want to know why they woke up horrified, look up the word “vetch” in Webster’s and let’s not mention it again if you don’t think it’s worth going deeper into the matter, go to 12.
12—Opopoï! they cried as they opened their eyes. Opopoï! what sort of dream did we give birth to! Bad omen, said the first. Yah, said the second, you said it, I’m all sad now. Don’t get in a tizzy, said the third, who was the craftiest of the three, this isn’t something to get upset over, but something to understand, to cut a long story short, I’m going to analyze it for you.
if you want to know the interpretation of this dream right away, go to 15 if, on the contrary, you wish to know the reactions of the other two, go to 13.
13—That’s a lot of hooey, said the first. Since when do you know how to analyze dreams. Yeah, since when? added the second.
if you too would like to know since when, go to 14 if not, go to 14 anyway, because you still won’t know why.
14—Since when? cried the third. How should I know! The fact is I analyze them. You’ll see!
if you too want to see, go to 15 if not, go to 15 anyway, because you’ll see nothing.
15—Well, let’s see, then, said his brothers. I don’t like your irony, he replied, and you won’t know anything. Anyway, hasn’t your feeling of horror dimmed during this rather lively conversation? Vanished, even? So what’s the point of stirring up the quagmire of your papilionaceous unconscious? Let’s go wash up at the fountain instead and greet this happy morning with hygiene and sacred euphoria! No sooner said than done: there they are slipping out of their pod, letting themselves gently roll along the ground and then, jogging, they merrily reach the theater of their ablutions.
if you want to know what happens at the theater of their ablutions, go to 16 if you would rather not, you go to 21.
16—Three big beanpoles were watching them.
if the three tall beanpoles displease you, go to 21 if they suit you, go to 18.
17—Three medium-sized mediocre bushes were watching them.
if the three medium-sized mediocre bushes displease you, go to 21 if they suit you, go to 18.
18—Finding themselves eyeballed in this way, the three nimble little peas who were very modest ran off.
if you want to know what they did next, go to 19 if you don’t want to know, you go to 21.
19—They ran speedily to get back to their pod and, shutting it again behind them, went back to sleep.
if you would like to know the rest, go to 20 if you do not want to know, you go to 21.
20—There is no rest the story is over.
21—In that case, the story is also over.

A Handful of Texticles

Tit and Tat

They were each speaking two different languages, agglutinative languages with bitter roots, and at first that didn't bother them. Moreover, the rolled words in their rocky inlets spread mauve reflections, but little information. They tried various categories, faux nemes, pure verbs, clicks, moos: every time some eggs of sumethin' else hatched under their words.
It was completely baffling.
They were each speaking two different languages, agglutinative languages with bitter roots.

The Haughties

If I were what I think I am, I would not be here making my bit of goose slave away in the ink, unsticking the ballpoint pen, cementing the scrapers, hardening the soft bits of bread. Where would I be, not here of course, I've already said so, letting my waterman rule my sergeant-major, capulating with some she-fur, training my park-curs, sojourning my elephants. You have to admit it, art has severe principles that go beyond the fame of the haughties. The haughties: those who believe they have a bit of it. They distinguish. They paradigm. They perpend. They sneakify. They gaudify. With my quill in the air, I say no and put three ens to my name and innumerable "o"s.

Description of a Certain foe Schmoe

A little thicker at the chin than at the corner of the spleen, that was the first thing that struck you when you didn't look at him too much from the side. Still old enough, though of a Venetian luster, he appeared to be bathed in more sweat than his boxing wanted. His eye fresh, but hung up, his look slightly stringy, ear at ease, nose green, mouth twitching, corners of the kennel decidedly too pronounced and Achilles tendon constantly at rest, his face thus made a shifty sound that the jolting curve of his shoulders was unable to glue up. A chestnut brown detail corroborated his ventricles. The nourishment of his striking feature also fed the corn on his cob from which he suffered every seasoning. Nothing had ever been able to heal it, not even the dreary pension of an old tuna-meat pedant. His salad fermented over a slow heat between the schnozz and the ballast, but without loud singing so as not to awaken the eagle of the dulcimer, tough and quick tempered.
He would light up through auto-kept rotation of the pyrophor. The ribs of his pen cap, made well enough to disgust a dandy, enveloped him from head to toe in a thin latticework of nags.
It was still no better.
Two fingers of fatigue, one of them too short and the other short enough, allowed him only the most sparing of waltz steps, but not always. To the right of the box of his biennial bone, there was nothing much to do, for him as well as for others, but to the left. He constantly heard himself talking, with a fillet of soil that sometimes descended to the hollow of the yew.
To every heart, he answered tails. That was the most caudal aspect of his behavior and the one that sometimes in his melancholy led him to screw down the asphalt of his first kernel. The passersby, disconcerted, hit the bull's-eye.

Heterogeneous Homophones

Few men keep abreast, all women have two.
He was smoking so much pot he was going to it.
Atop the Eiffel Tower, we got one of Paris.
While smoking a butt, he scratched his.
He drove away from the park because he couldn't.
Dressed in crepe, she flipped several.
He turned red after his report card was.
Removing her veil, she descended into it.
To ensure that the drunkard wouldn't whine, they gave him some.
Being well bred, the child ate his buttered.
He made a call to the delivery room and learned that the baby wasn't born with one.
Jesus told Paul not to expect to find him in one.
The duck didn't and hit its head.

My Heart

Sometimes my heart is to the right, or even completely under my arm, as if it were growing hair. At times I feel it in my elbow, near the funny bone, I'm afraid it might take root there, I'd no longer be able to put them (my elbows) on the table, I prefer that it drop a little further down. Then I see it beating under my wrist, in the spot where palmists locate the line of longevity. Sometimes, it's rare, it reaches the ends of the fingers, the pulp. But it never stays there for long. Then it comes back up, and, if I'm not careful, it travels unforeseen distances; I have to search for it and find it under a kidney, one of my nuts or the root of a hair.
That's why I'm going to the doctor.
O my heart, if only you'd be more quiet.

Paralogies

That it gets ready, far from, the what has to be said, then the echoes that to the cock-a-doodle-dos of an innate, but laughably long card the limits reply, reply. It's midnight. Some write, some dream. The ink flows through the fingers of the moon in its coaches of algebras. Next to, almost, thereabouts, the stopover point is announced by the blatant chimes of a five-franc piece. It's still noon. Time hasn't changed since the Silurian age. It's barely changed. Barely: just enough to no longer become a troglodyte.

Little For Nothing

I was in the midst of writing when I got tripped up in a litotes. It lay on the ground, feeding on the new goo of blue hue, to embue, too, the zoo's poo-poo with dew, to truly view the flue, to rue, moo, coo, and even mew.

The Hen with the Feline

This hen wanted a cat. She was a real hen, gallinaceous, a poultry hen, farmyard poultry, a farmyard of the Beauce, of the Beauce in France. This hen was named Amélie and her man, the rooster, his name was Clarion: a real schmuck. He scratched the mud while clucking, gesticulations meant to lead some fool under his feet so he could pork her. What Amélie wanted was a cat, a purring cat that she could pet and that would mew for its chow.
She would have had it fixed: no fuss.
But there it is: no cat consented. The melancholic Amélie wondered if she wouldn't choose her pet among some other species; she hesitated between the earthworm and homo sapiens.
submitted by MilkbottleF to shortstoryaday [link] [comments]

Flash Sale - Moving Today! Until 8 PM EST. All items are BRAND NEW! Low-end to high-end brands.

Moving later today, want to take as little packaging as I have to to my tiny new place. Bundles very, very encouraged. MAKE ME AN OFFER!  
All items are BRAND NEW. They’ve been only opened for me to take pictures of them for selling. There’s a good mix of Deluxe Samples (DS) and Full Sizes (FS). If it’s not apparent from the picture, feel free to comment and ask the size.  
Shipping is a flat 3. Int'l shipping at cost. I’ll invoice if you cover fees. Looking to sell fast, so item is claimed when payment is received (no "claiming" based on the comment per usual). However, if you're committed to buying and for some reason can't pay right away, I can put it on hold.  
I’m open to offers! No minimum, but selling in lots would be great. I’ve listed used items here, available for you to bundle with.  
I work 8-5 EST today (Sunday), but will check comments before work and consistently 5-8 pm. After 8 pm, I'll finish packaging any last-minute exchanges and drive to my new place, where I'll slowly keep selling whatever is left over...
Flair Verification  
Makeup  
Eye Palettes  
Burberry Summer Splash in No. 02 Hot Tropic (LE) - $55 Burberry Summer Splash in No. 01 Midday Sun (LE) - $55 Covergirl Eye Enhancers Palette in 280 Natural Nudes - $5 Coastal Scents Go Palette in England - $15 1 2 Estee Lauder PWP Palette from recent holiday season - $35 1 2 Revlon Colorstay Eyeshadow Palette in 585 Sea Mist - $6 Revlon Colorstay Eyeshadow Palette in 526 Romantic - $6 Lancome Color Design Palette - $20 1 2 bareMinerals Eyeshadow Duo with Enjoy and Fate - $5 1 2  
Individual Shadows  
1 2 3 Lancome Color Design Shadow in Colour Du Jour - $15 (Metallic) Lancome Color Design Shadow in Written Heel - $15 (Shimmer) Lancome Color Design Shadow in Vintage - $15 (Matte) Lancome Color Design Shadow in Successorize - $15 (Matte) Lancome Color Design Shadow in 132 All That Brightens - $15 Lancome Color Design Shadow in Mannequin - $15 Etude House Look at My Eyes Cafe in PP501 Sweet Potato Latte - $4 Orglamix Loose Color Concentrate in Lilac - $7 MICA Beauty Eye Primer - $4 bellapierre Shadow in SP056 Cadence - $5  
Pic be a bombshell Eyeshadow in Rock Bottom - $8 1 2 be a bombshell Eyeshadow Eye Base - $8 1 2 Cailyn Just Mineral Eye Polish in Orchid - $7 1 2 Paifica Coconut Eyeshadow in Ethereal - $6 1 2 Coastal Scents Revealed 2 Palette Sampler in Sunset - $3 1 2 the Balm Eyeshadow Single in Flirty - $7 1 2 Rob Scheppy for ’tini beauty Shadow in Pearl Fizz ES002 - $4 1 2  
Eye Pencils / Eyeliners  
1 2 3 4 5 Gorgeous Cosmetics Eye Pencil in Ocean - $8 (navy blue) Lancome Le Crayon Kohl in Black Ebony - $9 Cynthia Rowley Eyeliner (Silver) - $5 Lollipops Long Lasting Eye Pencil in 701 Goodbye Moon - $5 bellapierre cosmetics Gel Eye Liner in Ebony - $12 pixi Endless Silky Eye Pen in Black Noir - $5 Starlooks Gem Pencil in Ultra Olive - $3 treStique Mini Shadow Crayon in Venetian Gold - $4 milk @ vonk Auto Eye Liner in Pencil in 02 White - $6  
1 2 Revlon Photoready Eye Art in 080 Desert Dazzle - $7 W3LL PEOPLE Hypnotist Mineral Eyepencil in black velvet - $13 Hikari Eye Liner in Storm - $8 Urban Decay 24/7 Velvet Glide-On Eye Pencil in Black Velvet (DS) - $6  
Mascara  
Pic Estee Lauder Sumptuous Mascara (FS) - $20 Dior Addict It-Lash (DS) - $5 peripera Wholly Deep Mascara - $15 L’Oreal Voluminous Butterfly Intenza Mascara in 379 Black Noir - $5 Tarina Tarantino Eyelicity Glitter Liner in Glitter Mist - $8 Lancome Hypnose Drama Mascara in Excessive Black (DS) - $6 Cargo Cosmetics Better-Than-Waterproof Mascara - $6  
Pic J.cat Beauty Eyelashes and Eyelash Glue in EL66 - $2 Lashfood Natural Eyelash Enhancing System (DS) - $3 MAC False Lashes Mascara (DS, 2 of them) - $2 ea. MAC Zoom Fast Black Lash (DS, 2 of them) - $2 ea. Lancome Definicils (DS) - $3  
False Lashes, Brows  
Pic Model Co. More Brows in Light/Medium - $6 kiss ever ez lashes with applicator - $5  
Lip  
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil Ozone DS and Lip Gloss Samples in Failbait and Bittersweet - $15 Estee Lauder Pure Color Envy Sculpting Lipstick Sample with Lip Brush - $5  
1 2 City Lips Collagen Peptide Lip Plumping Treatment - $18 fresh Sugar Rosé Lip Treatment - $5 Make Silk Lipstick in 5015 Radicchio - $10 alima PURE Lip Tint in Rhubarb - $12 be a bombshell Lip Crayon in bitten - $10 beauty for real true color lip cream in Always There - $10 (also has mirror on the side!)
1 2 3 Revlon Ultra HD Lipstick in 875 Gladiolus - $4 (3 of them) Lancome Color Design Lipstick in Natural Beauty (Cream) - $8 Lancome Color Design Lipstick in Sugared Maple (Sheen) - $8 Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in 047 Pink Lemonade - $5 Milani Lipstick in 71 Matte Flirty - $8 doucce Lipstick in 907 - $8  
1 2 3 RiRe Lipmanicure High Fix in 10 Wine Burgundy - $8 bareMinerals marvelous Moxie Lipstick DS in Get Ready - $8 TonyMoly tint crayon - NEON Delight in Orange - $7 MAC Viva Glam VIII Lipstick Rihanna (LE) - $20  
1 2 ABSOLUTE You’re the Balm Lip Balm in Green Apple - $3 Laqa & Co. Lip Lube - $5 Jane Iredale Just Kissed Lip Plumper in Rio DS - $4  
1 2 Malin & Goetz Mojito Lip Balm - $8 Sephora Color Adapt Lip Balm in Unique Pink - $5 nyx Butter Lip Balm in Marshmallow - $5 naked lips peppermint Lip Balm - $4 Orange Mint Lip Balm - $3 L’Oreal Glossy Balm in 240 Pink Me Up - $5  
1 2 3 Revlon Ultra HD Lip Lacquer in HD Rose Quartz - $3 NARS Lip Gloss in Priscilla DS - $6 Revolution Freedom Gloss in Truth - $8 NYC Liquid Lipshine Lip Gloss in 579 Fashion Ave Fuchsia - $2 OCC Lip Tar Stained Gloss in Meta - $8 Frost Cosmetics Lip Gloss in Barbie Pink - $4 Frost Cosmetics Lip Gloss in Nude Pink - $4 Estee Lauder Pure Color Gloss Palette with lip brush in 21 Pink Innocence, 06 Magnificent Mauve, 33 Orchid Passion - $15 Lancome Juicy Tube Lip Gloss in Magic Spell - $5 Lancome Juicy Tube Lip Gloss in Simmer - $5  
Pic Starlooks Lip Gloss in Guilty Pleasure - $2 bareMinerals Natural Lip Gloss in Apricot Nectar - $5 bareMinerals Pretty Amazing Lipcolor in Rouge - $6 L’Oreal Lip gloss in 601 Nude Ballet - $5 tarte Lipsurgence Lip Gloss in Park Ave Princess - $8 bellapierre Super Lip Gloss in Vanilla Pink - $5 bareMinerals Marvelous Moxie Lip Gloss in Starlet - $10 Estee Lauder Pure Color Gloss in Orchid Passion - $5 J.Cat Hydrating Lip Stain 24/7 Liptitude - $2 cargo cosmetics Lip Gloss in Anguilla - $5  
OCC Pro’s Picks Portables (LE) - $65  
Blush/BronzeHighlighter  
1 2 3 NARS Domination Palette - $55 Benefit Watt’s Up Highlighter DS - $8 theBalm Stainiac in Beauty Queen DS - $5 ModelCo Cheek + Lip Tint in Rosy Red - $10 bareMinerals Bronzing Mineral Veil FS - $30 OFRA Americano Bronzer FS - $20 bareMinerals Multi-Tasking Concealer in honey bisque DS - $4 bellápierre cosmetics Cheek & Lip Stain in Pink - $6  
1 2 3 Hikari Blush in Tango - $6 Lancome Blush Subtil in 128 Blushing Trésor - $7 Took picture with leaving plastic cover there, so it looks shiny, but it’s a powder) OFRA Blush in Paradise Pink - $8 Cargo Cosmetics Water Resistant Blush in Los Cabos - $8 So Susan Universal Blush (Completely new but arrived completely crushed) - $1 Benefit Blush in bella bamba DS - $5 Coastal Scents Forever Blush Sample - $5 Milani Blush & Bronzer Sunset Duo in 03 Sunset Beach - $5 ModelCo Blush Cheek Powder in 02 Peach Bellini - $5  
Vintage by Jessica Liebeskind Highlighter in Crystal Pink  
Face (and two eye primers)  
Pic itcosmetics CC+ Full Coverage Cream, anti-aging, hydrating serum in Medium Laura Mercier Foundation Primer DS - $7 Mary Kay Translucent Loose Powder - $9 Supergoop! Setting Mist with Rosemary - $20
Pic Coastal Scents Eclipse Palette So Susan Concealer Quad - $4
Pic MDSolarSciences MD Crème Mineral Beauty Balm in Light/Medium - $5 Smashbox Photo Finish Oil-Free Foundation Primer - $4 Marcelle BB Cream Golden Glow Skin Enhancer - $4 napoleon perdis Auto Pilot Pre-Foundation Skin Primer - $10 bareMinerals Prime Time Brightening Eye Primer - $4 Boo-Boo Cover-Up Concealer - $8 Smashbox 24 Hour Photo Finish Shadow Primer - $5 Garnier Ultra-Lift Transformer Anti-Age Skin Corrector - $2  
Makeup Removers  
Pic NARS Makeup Removing Water DS - $4 Estee Lauder Gentle Eye Makeup Remover - $14 Lancome Bi-Facil Double Action Eye Makeup Remover - $18 Witch’s Pouch Collagen Lip & Eye Makeup Remover - $10 Dr. Jart Dermaclear Micro Water DS (2 of them) - $3 ea. (on hold)  
Nail Polish  
Pic Inter Color Pretty Nail Flower Polish in 308 (thanks inthemouthofthewolf for noticing the name!) - $2 Holika Holika Neon Beam Sparkle Nail ($4) Sinful Colors Polish in 1122 Energetic Red (2 of them) - $3 ea. Finger Paints Polish in Brushstroke Blush - $3 Estee Lauder Pure Color Nail Lacquer in Fallen Angel - $5 Orly Lacquer in Sheer Nude - $2 Zoya Nail Polish in Rayne - $7 Julie Nail Color in Damsel - $3 lauren b. 5 Free Nail Couture in Rodeo Drive - $4
Pic probelle Nail Lacquer in Into the Blue - $2 Gabriel Nail & Cuticle Conditioner - $3 Color Secrets Nail Lacquer in Amelie - $3 Jin Soon Nail Lacquer in Coquette - $8 Covergirl Glowing Lights Glosstini in 710 #AfterDark - $2 Vapour Organic Beauty 3-free Nail Lacquer in Ether - $3 Nicole by OPI Nail Polish in Feeling Very Cherry - $4 Nailed Kit Nail Decals - $1  
Skincare  
Eye Creams  
Pic Olay Regenerist Luminous Dark Circle Correcting hydraswirly Eye Cream - $5 balance me Wonder Eye Cream - $7 Liz Earle Eyebright Soothing Eye Lotion - $8 Love for Humanity Organics Anti-Aging Eye Serum - $2  
Scrubs/Exfoliants  
Pic Bioré Charcoal Pore Minimizer - $6 Clean & Clear advantage daily soothing acne scrub - $5 Acure Brightening Facial Scrub DS - $5 skin Food Rice Mask Wash Off FS - $5 dr. brandt microdermabrasion DS - $4 Holika Holika Pig-Nose Clear Blackhead Steam Starter - $6
Pic Rituals Miracle Scrub Ultra Softening Hand Scrub with Ginseng and Ginkgo Biloba - $8 Bioelements Pumice Peel Manual Microdermabrasion Treatment - $15 Real Chemistry Luminous 3 Minute Peel DS - $5 Organic Skincare Doctor Organic Virgin Coconut Oil Hydrating Radiance Elixir - $15 Palmetto Derma Collagen Booster & Restoration Serum (FS) - $12 derma e Evenly Radiant Brightening Day Creme - $14 Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair DS (1 remaining, 2 sold) - $6 ea. Alfaparf Milano Cristalli Liquidi Illuminating Serum - $5 Lavilin Jojoba Skin Soother Gel Cream - $2 Seventh Generation Boosts Hydrating Natural Skin Serum with Jojoba - $2  
Cleansers  
Pic Organic Skincare Doctor Organic Tea Tree Face Wash - $8 Skinn Olive & Enzyme Cleanser - $4 Estee Lauder Take it Away Makeup Remover Lotion - $3 Estee Lauder Perfectly Clean Multi-Action Foam CleansePurifying Mask - $3 bliss micromagic spa-powered microdermabrasion treatment FS - $25 Etude House Baking Powder BB Deep Cleansing Foam DS - $3 Vasanti BrightenUp! Enzymatic Face Rejuvenator - $5 bliss fabulous foaming face wash - $4
Pic Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser FS - $5 Benton Honest Cleansing Foam DS - $2 derma e Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Glycolic Cleanser - $8 clarisonic Refreshing Gel Cleanser DS - $2 purlisse pur delicate gentle soy milk cleanser - $5 illuminage Skin Prep Gentle Cleanser - $5 Clinique Foaming Sonic Facial Soap DS - $3  
Anti-Aging  
Pic Pond’s Rejuveness Anti-Wrinkle Cream with AHAs & Collagen - $5 derma e Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Retinyl Palmitate Creme - $8 MD Complete Anti-Aging Even Tone & Texture Accelerator - $20 bareMinerals Multi-Wrinkle Repair DS - $5 derma e Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Glycolic Scrub - $6 Juice Beauty Green Apple Age Defy Moisturizer DS - $7 Lancome Advanced Genefique Youth Activating Concentrate DS - $5  
Pic Estee Lauder Advanced Time Zone Age Reversing Line/Wrinkle Creme - $7 Estee Lauder Advanced Time Zone Night Age Reversing Line/Wrinkle Cream - $7 Estee Lauder Revitalizing Supreme Global Anti-Aging Creme - $7
Pic fresh Seaberry Moisturizing Face Oil DS - $8 Sephora Age Defy Moisture Cream SPF 15 Sunscreen DS - $2 Orogold 24k Multi Vitamin Day Moisturizer (2 of them) - $5 ea.  
Toner & Moisturizer  
Pic Cetaphil Intensive Moisturizing Cream - $4 Mizon Water Volume Aqua Gel Cream - $10 etre belle Aloe-Vera Moisturizing Gel - $10 Clean & Clear Hydrating Gel Moisturizer - $5 purlisse pur moist hydra-balance moisturizer - $3 dr. brandt pores no more anti-aging mattifying lotion - $3 philosophy renewed hope in a jar moisturizer DS - $3 Neuth Creme Pour Visage Sample - $3
 
For the remaining items, please make me an offer or let me know what you’re interested in and I’ll quote you a price! Thanks! (I just got tired of looking up approximate prices on eBay.)
 
Fragrance
  Tonymoly Petit Art Perfume mist
 
Tools - Take all for $15
  Pic Emite Makeup Lash Curler Toe Separator Laneila Razor Skin Food Face Scrub Laneila Compact Puff Beauteque Foundation Brush The Face Shop Eyelash Curler  
Hair
  1 2 3 Aloxxi Texturizing Spray with ColorCare Complex Pureology Colour Fanatic Instant Deep-Conditioning Mask Not Your Mother’s Whip It Up Cream Styling Mousse Proganix Volume Root Boost Finish + Body Builder batiste cherry Dry Shampoo DS - $4 Amika Perk Up Dry Shampoo DS - $4 Dear Clark volumizing Tonic Caviar Repair Re-Texturizing Protein Cream - $5 Amika Nourishing Mask - $5
Pic balanced guru No Frizz Oil Klorane Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk - $4 No. 4 Lumiere d’hiver Super Comb Prep & Protect Beauty Protect Protect & Oil John Frieda Colour Refreshing Gloss
Pic Aloxxi Dry Shampoo with Color Protection Suave Volume Weightless Blow-Dry Spray Fekkai Brilliant Glossing Olive Oil Styling Creme (3 in total, one in prev picture) - $5 ea. Sebastian Stylbird 9 Multi-Benefit Hairspray
Pic Organic Haircare Doctor Organic Moroccan Argan Oil Restorative Treatment Conditioner Clairol Hair Food Thickening Hair Treatment Infused with Kiwi Fragrance
Pic Rusk Texture Dry Finishing Spray DS (2 of them) Oscar Blandi Texture & Volume Spray DS Marc Anthony Beach Waves Beach Spray DS Sexy Hair Spray Clay DS Parlor Moisturizing Sea Salt Spray Marrakesh Endz Argan & Hemp Oil Therapy Split End Mender & Preventer - $5
Pic Fekkai Blowout Hair Refresher Dry Shampoo DS John Frieda Frizz Ease Nourishing Oil Elixir FS - $8 L’Oreal Elnett Satin Hairspray Coolway Boost Repair Mask Brazilian Blowout Acai Deep Conditioning Masque balanced guru No Frizz Oil
Pic Aloxxi Lightweight Sculpting Mask Redken blonde idol BBB Multi-Benefit Conditioning Spray Parlor Moisturizing Sea Salt spray nelson Beverly Hills Argan Oil 7 Styling Conditioner (Volume) Philip B. pH Restorative Detangling Toning Mist
Pic 12 Benefits Instant Healthy Hair Treatment (2 of them)
Pic Caviar Anti-Aging Omega Nourishing Oil Hask Nourhsing Shine Oil Kevin Murphy Color Bug Shimmer John Frieda Frizz Ease Beyond Smooth Frizz-Immunity Primer DS Dove Pure Care Dry Oil for Hair
John Frieda Frizz Ease beyond Smooth Frizz-Immunity Primer FS  
Tanning  
Pic Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Serum DS (light skin tones) Jergens Natural Glow Moisturizer (Fair to Medium) Hang Ten Dark Tanning Oil tarte Maracuja Bronzing Serum FS St. Tropez Instant glow Body Lotion St. Tropez Self Tan Express
Pic Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream FS (Light) Jergens natural Glow Firming Daily Moisturizer (Medium to Tan) Suave Visible Glow Self-Tanning Body Lotion (Fair to Medium) Jergens Natural Glow Instant Sun Sunless Tanning Mousse
Pic $1 individually or $3 for the lot Jergens Natural Glow Moisturizer Sample (Medium to Tan) Dr. Dennis Gross alpha Beta Glow Pad Dr. Dennis Gross Alpha Beta Daily Glow Moisture Sample Stila stay all day 10-in-1 HD Illuminating Beauty Balm Sample  
Miscellaneous
  Pic Holika Holika Aloe 99% Soothing Gel shave with benefits mint luxurious botanical shave foam balance me super toning body wash clean Organic Body Wash Essential Elements Shower Gel NYX Roll-On Shimmer in Sea Foam Body Scrub Coco Necklace  
Sample Lots  
Misc Sample Lot  
Bags and Other  
Non-Ipsy Bag Lot 1 Ipsy Bag Lot (with one Beauteque and 1 NARS bag)
  1 2 Sun Safety Kit Bag Lancome Bag
elf Makeup Artist Brush Belt - $12  
Other Cosmetics
Pic SpaRitual Nail Polish in Arroyo Lollipops Lip Balm Pop Beauty Kajal Pen in Sooty Black Manna Kadar Lash Conditioner  
submitted by whitneyinmotion to makeupexchange [link] [comments]

In Las Vegas, the casino is always watching — and yet it missed Stephen Paddock (LA Times) 12 Oct 2017

http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-vegas-shooting-casino-security-20171012-story.html
If the casino is always watching, how did it miss Stephen Paddock?
Why didn’t hotel security notice Paddock bringing in at least 10 suitcases filled with guns? (Oct. 12, 2017)
by Matt Pearce, Jaweed Kaleem , Melissa Etehad and Richard WintonContact Reporters
The casino hotels on the Las Vegas Strip, with all their glitzy delights, aren’t just palaces of distraction. They’re miniature surveillance states.
A typical facility might be armed with thousands of cameras, which watch gamblers as they enter, while they play and when they leave. The footage is stored as potential evidence and monitored by internal security forces who are prepared to dispatch a response within moments in case of problems.
“In Vegas, everybody’s gotta watch everybody else,” Robert De Niro said in the 1995 drama “Casino.” Dealers watch the players, pit bosses watch the people watching the dealers, and the “eye in the sky” — the camera — watches over all.
The thought of beating that eye in the sky has inspired a generation of glam heist movies, starting with “Ocean’s 11.”
But now, questions are mounting over a very different type of crime than the grifting and grabbing scams Vegas has always been obsessed with — the mass shooting mounted on Oct. 1 from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino.
It turns out, one place the casino’s cameras don’t have eyes is the network of hallways inside the Mandalay Bay hotel. That’s where gunman Stephen Paddock, 64, of Mesquite, Nev., shot a Mandalay Bay security guard, Jesus Campos, at 9:59 p.m., about six minutes before Paddock started firing at a crowd of thousands of concertgoers gathered below, an attack that killed 58 people and injured nearly 500 others.
New disclosure shows a casino guard alerted hotel to gunman before Vegas massacre began. So why did it take so long to stop him?
As precious minutes ticked by, and Paddock turned his attention to aiming a barrage of rapid-pace gunfire at the crowd, it was not until 10:17 p.m. that police were able to pinpoint Paddock’s location and arrive on the floor where he mounted the attack. But they were too late. The damage had been done. For reasons that remain unknown, Paddock had already stopped his attack.
Where was hotel security?
Both the police and hotel management have declined to answer questions about whether the hotel informed police that the security guard had been shot. And representatives of the victims are already asking questions.
“Get your iPhone, put it on the timer,” said Chad Pinkerton, a Houston-based lawyer representing a 21-year-old shooting victim in the first of what are expected to be many lawsuits. “Run six minutes. See how long it is. I've done it. It's a long time.”
For much of the 20th century, casino security was visible and personal. Guards walked on catwalks overlooking the playing tables and the gamblers, keeping their eyes on the tremendous amount of cash and chips flowing through the business on a daily basis — a rich target, literally.
“Back in the day, security was armed,” said George Joseph, president of World Casino Consulting and a former director of surveillance at Bally’s. “Now they have less personnel who are carrying firearms, simply because of the liability issues. In the day, we would chase somebody down…. Now, you’re worried if he starts running and knocks over a customer, a little old lady playing a slot machine, you’re liable.”
Today, casino heists are rare, but not unheard of. In 2010, a thief at the Bellagio swiped $1.5 million in casino chips, including $25,000 chips known as “cranberries,” and sped off on a motorcycle.
In March, a group of well-dressed men in masks mounted a smash-and-grab robbery at the Bellagio's high-end jewelry store, leading to a massive armed response by Vegas police. Guests rushed outside amid fears of an active shooter.
Casinos have spent decades perfecting their security against such events.
Casinos like Mandalay Bay “spend millions and millions of dollars on security,” said a surveillance expert who helped install an early version of Mandalay Bay's security systems after it opened in the 1990s. The system he installed had close to 1,200 cameras, and he guesses Mandalay Bay has about 3,000 cameras now.
“They’re all recording 24/7. Anybody who walks through that door is an asset. They’re going to take care of their assets,” said the expert, who declined to be identified because of concerns of future litigation.
But hallways can be difficult for security cameras to capture — they might be too long or too dark to show what's actually happening — so hotels instead put cameras on bottlenecks like elevator banks. “Typically they want to see who’s coming onto the floor and off the floor, and they can tell now who goes into rooms with the keycards,” the expert said.
The biggest threat to the casinos’ operations today, the one security personnel are trained to be watchful for, appears to be personal-injury lawsuits.
In 10 years at Bally’s, “we saved more money on liability claims than we ever did on table game cheating,” said Joseph, noting that casino footage became an important way to fight personal-injury lawsuits inside the building.
One of the public’s few windows into Paddock’s history in casinos comes from a slip-and-fall lawsuit that Paddock filed against the Cosmopolitan Hotel in 2012. And yes, there was video of Paddock’s fall.
Paddock lost the lawsuit in arbitration largely because the footage showed other customers passing the area without any problems. The house, and its surveillance system, won.
Yet while Paddock’s extensive time in Las Vegas as an avid gambler — which would make him probably one of the most visually surveilled people on Earth — has given investigators a massive amount of evidence to sort through, little of it has apparently been fruitful in helping establish a motive.
Clark County Sheriff Joe Lombardo said investigators had compiled 200 “instances” of Paddock moving around Las Vegas before the attack, but he was always alone.
Some critics have also wondered why hotel security did not notice Paddock bringing in at least 10 suitcases filled with guns into his hotel suite.
“It will be very important to look at the training for the security guards in the hotel who were there in the five days before,” said Mo Aziz, another attorney representing a California victim, Paige Gasper.
Before Paddock’s shooting rampage began at 10:05 p.m., Campos radioed and called security on a hotel phone about a gunman in the building, Clark County Assistant Sheriff Tom Roberts said this week. Officers were already in the building on a different call.
Yet as Paddock rained bullets down on the crowd for 10 minutes, police audio dispatches revealed widespread confusion among officers at the scene, who had not received Campos’ alert and were urgently trying to figure out where the gunfire was coming from.
The officers who did zero in on Mandalay Bay did not immediately know where Paddock was, and had begun their search on the floor below him. “I’m inside the Mandalay Bay on the 31st floor,” one officer radioed about 10:14 p.m. “I can hear the automatic fire coming from one floor ahead. One floor above us.”
According to police, the first officers arrived on the 32nd floor at 10:17 p.m. — two minutes after Paddock had stopped firing. Campos was there waiting for them. “They weren’t aware of him being shot until they met him in the hallway after exiting the elevator,” Lombardo said Monday.
Roberts also revealed this week that the hotel had dispatched its own armed security team, which arrived on the 32nd floor about the same time as police.
The lack of cameras in the hallway has made it difficult to nail down a precise timeline of events, and investigators promised an updated timeline on Friday.
Experts on security say the normal protocol for casinos is to call police immediately for help when an armed threat presents itself.
“Casinos call 911 like everyone else,” said C. David Shepherd, a former FBI special agent who spent seven years as executive director of security for the Venetian Resort Hotel and Casino. While the casinos have armed security, “they are not protected and trained to take on a barricaded suspect. It takes a special trained team of police officers.”
William Sousa, a criminal justice professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, said police were called in for a wide range of crimes.
“You'll see a lot of coordination between the private security forces and police, and the Strip properties frequently meet among themselves to coordinate among their security directors,” Sousa said.
But while security is high, “There is also a level of inconsistency among the different properties,” he said. “There is a fair amount of discretion for the hotels.”
A former armed security guard at Mandalay Bay expressed confusion over why it took hotel officials and police so long to stop the gunman.
When he worked at the hotel and casino in the early 2000s, he said, all radio calls went through “control,” which is also called dispatch. There were at all times at least three people in the control office: one dispatcher who reports to other units, one dispatcher who watches cameras and a third in charge of calling police when necessary.
“If [Campos] did things the way you’re trained, you report to control [dispatch] through your daily issued radio, then dispatch makes the call to the authorities, only because they’re in a safe place in the basements,” said the former guard, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not allowed to discuss security issues.
He added: “In a shooting situation you would first seek shelter, and call for help, meaning you radio the security office, who then types the type of incident, time of incident, and another person calls authorities and gives as much information as possible.”
Hotel security, he said, is supposed to provide the first response, attempting to contain the scene, and possibly evacuate other possible victims if not the whole floor. An alarm system is in place, he said, to inform guests if they need to evacuate.
Training to become a security officer at the hotel took him about one month, and the emphasis, he said, was on avoiding liability. “Their No. 1 problem is lawsuits; they said most people sue just because they’re mad or had a bad experience, so never admit guilt, and always try to comfort the complaining guests.”
http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-vegas-shooting-casino-security-20171012-story.html
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