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OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Giving thanks edition: Kickin’ around Caracas, Pt. 5

Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 1800.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…
submitted by Rocknocker to Rocknocker [link] [comments]

Kickstarter Roundup: October 11, 2020 | 30+ Ending Soon (including: THE 7th CITADEL) & 55+ New This Week (including: Frostpunk: The Board Game)

What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:
All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info Players Backers Min / Avg Pledge Ends Comments
Broadside Empires of Steel A fully printable tabletop miniatures game set in the era of the Dreadnought Battleship. // Has raised A$11,322 of A$3,000 so far. (~377%) ☑ 2 206 $22 / A$55 Oct 11 kicktraq bgg
PERTHRO A Norse mythology-inspired dice game for two players. // Has raised CHF13,392 of CHF3,500 so far. (~383%) ☑ 2 484 $20 / CHF28 Oct 12 kicktraq
Random Fun Generator, Dice Games from Steve Jackson Games A collection of over twenty dice games from Steve Jackson Games! Use any existing six-sided dice, or play using our many custom dice!!! // Has raised $79,119 of $500 so far. (~15824%) ☑ varies 3166 $15 / $25 Oct 12 kicktraq
Sharks Feeding Frenzy Life getting you down? Wouldn't you rather be a shark? Eat new and exciting people! // Has raised $11,309 of $10,000 so far. (~113%) ☑ 2 - 6 169 $29 / $67 Oct 13 kicktraq
Kingdom (2nd Edition) Build your community together. Fight for what you believe in… or watch it burn. A game about communities by the author of Microscope // Has raised $35,010 of $2,500 so far. (~1400%) ☑ 2 - 5 1214 $10 / $29 Oct 13 kicktraq #rpg #newedition
The Thing - The Boardgame The official board game inspired by the 1982 movie The Thing. // Has raised €318,357 of €42,000 so far. (~758%) ☑ 1 - 8 3995 $93 / €80 Oct 14 kicktraq bgg
Apogee: A New Space Tale A card management game from 1 to 5 players to discover the New Space // Has raised €110,467 of €20,000 so far. (~552%) ☑ 1 - 5 2014 $43 / €55 Oct 14 kicktraq bgg
Soulgivers Absorb the Souls of the fallen heroes and capture the Fragment to survive the Decay in this competitive strategy game for 2 players. // Has raised €64,148 of €40,000 so far. (~160%) ☑ 2 863 $82 / €74 Oct 14 kicktraq bgg
Fruit Salad: The Multiple Games in One Game We will be creating a board game called Fruit Salad. This game comes with 8 different games perfect for all kind of players. // Has raised $4,301 of $7,064 so far. (~61%) 1 - 10 30 $25 / $143 Oct 14 kicktraq
Bots Up Build a bot, send it to battle and compete to be the last bot standing!Find out more at botsupgame.com // Has raised £15,831 of £3,500 so far. (~452%) ☑ 2 - 5 546 $20 / £29 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg
Hogs Of War The Miniatures Game A 1-4 Player Tabletop Miniatures Game with Tech-Tree, Hidden Movement and Base-Building mechanics. Solo and Co-op Modes included! // Has raised £101,206 of £18,000 so far. (~562%) ☑ 1 - 4 1091 $88 / £93 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg
Office Buzz The Drinking Game To Become The CEO // Has raised $6,553 of $5,000 so far. (~131%) ☑ 3+ 231 $18 / $28 Oct 15 kicktraq
Machina Arcana ~ To Eternity A dark and immersive experience awaits you and your group of explorers. Travel the unknown, face cosmic horrors and fight for survival! // Has raised $447,554 of $30,000 so far. (~1492%) ☑ 1 - 4 5682 $25 / $79 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg #expansion
Best Left Buried: Deeper A new version of the rules light fantasy horror roleplaying game, Best Left Buried. // Has raised £23,277 of £10,000 so far. (~233%) ☑ ? 447 $13 / £52 Oct 15 kicktraq #rpg
Night Parade of a Hundred Yokai Raise an army of supernatural beings to haunt the islands of Japan in this asymmetrical engine building game! // Has raised $51,323 of $10,000 so far. (~513%) ☑ 1 - 4 904 $50 / $57 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg
10+ Game A Card Game for Players & Inventors // Has raised HK$104,132 of HK$46,500 so far. (~224%) ☑ 2 - 6 284 $24 / HK$367 Oct 15 kicktraq
Forgotten Depths A quick-playing but substantial experience of exploration and combat // Has raised $29,423 of $26,000 so far. (~113%) ☑ 1 - 3 994 $30 / $30 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg #take2
Mythalix: Chapter 1: Greek Mythology Gods and Titans clash in a new world.Battle opponents, control areas & build your deck in this light strategy board game. // Has raised £14,588 of £10,000 so far. (~146%) ☑ 2 - 4 316 $32 / £46 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg
THE 7th CITADEL After The 7th Continent, explore the world of the Collapsing Lands! // Has raised €2,238,010 of €300,000 so far. (~746%) ☑ 1 - 4 27409 $81 / €82 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg
Brick Logic: The Game A kid designed logic game that uses LEGO bricks. Great for pandemic fun. // Has raised $2,227 of $204 so far. (~1092%) ☑ 1+ 130 $12 / $17 Oct 15 kicktraq
Castaway Curse (Second Printing) The shipwreck adventure game, now available with international shipping! 2-6 players, 20 min/player. Ages 13+ // Has raised $1,748 of $1,000 so far. (~175%) ☑ 2 - 6 22 $100 / $79 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg #newedition
RUMSKI (Second Edition) A quick-thinking, rummy style, strategy card game // Has raised $2,904 of $3,500 so far. (~83%) 2 - 6 81 $13 / $36 Oct 15 kicktraq #take2
Set 🔥 Watch: Swords of the Coin ⚔️ The highly anticipated stand alone expansion to our acclaimed 1-4 player cooperative game, Set a Watch // Has raised $167,927 of $20,000 so far. (~840%) ☑ 1 - 4 3554 $28 / $47 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg #expansion
Ultimate Bestiary Miniatures A horde of miniatures for your tabletop adventures! Based on the best selling monster book; Revenge of the Horde! // Has raised $85,513 of $75,000 so far. (~114%) ☑ - 1229 $10 / $70 Oct 15 kicktraq #minis
What's The Point? - The Cactus Card Game What's The Point? is an exciting, family-friendly, and cacti-loaded card game! // Has raised $7,925 of $3,000 so far. (~264%) ☑ 2 - 6 156 $25 / $51 Oct 15 kicktraq
Lucky Luau Flower matching and lei making fun from beautiful Hawaii! // Has raised $5,204 of $4,000 so far. (~130%) ☑ 2 - 6 180 $15 / $29 Oct 15 kicktraq bgg
Choo Choo Game. The Choo Choo card game is a train building game for everyone. // Has raised A$761 of A$750 so far. (~101%) ☑ 2 - 12 19 $20 / A$40 Oct 15 kicktraq
Pets Gone Shady - Card Game A card game that lets you throw octopuses, deal with naked turtles and avoid hangry hamsters! // Has raised $25,190 of $12,500 so far. (~202%) ☑ 2 - 5 520 $20 / $48 Oct 16 kicktraq #newedition
Good vs Gooder Fun debates for funny people—a family-friendly party game celebrating the gooder things in life // Has raised $17,758 of $18,500 so far. (~96%) 3+ 209 $29 / $85 Oct 16 kicktraq
Dinosaur World and Dinosaur Island: Rawr 'n Write Dinosaur World and Dinosaur Island: Rawr 'n Write are two stand-alone games set in the Dinosaur Island Universe! // Has raised $642,373 of $25,000 so far. (~2569%) ☑ 2 - 4 7422 $30 / $87 Oct 16 kicktraq bgg
Brinkwood: The Blood of Tyrants A castlepunk Forged in the Dark roleplaying game. Mask up. Spill Blood. Drink the Rich. Join the discord! https://discord.gg/R72Endm // Has raised $48,598 of $10,000 so far. (~486%) ☑ ? 1644 $10 / $30 Oct 16 kicktraq #rpg
DOPPELT ODER NICHTS Ein Kartenspiel, bei dem niemand sicher ist. Du hast die Wahl, aber wenn du dich überschätzt, trifft es dich doppelt -ENGLISH AVAILABLE // Has raised €5,803 of €7,000 so far. (~83%) 4 - ? 115 $20 / €50 Oct 17 kicktraq
Escape Deathrace 2182 A pocket-sized table-top dungeon crawler that pits you against your friends (and aliens!) in a cosmic street race to save the galaxy! // Has raised $4,044 of $8,200 so far. (~49%) 1 - 4 45 $25 / $90 Oct 17 kicktraq bgg
Arms & Influence A political strategy card game, where you compete with neighboring nations to achieve world dominance. // Has raised $10,916 of $7,500 so far. (~146%) ☑ 3 - 4 215 $19 / $51 Oct 17 kicktraq bgg

New This Week

Project Info Players Backers Min / Avg Pledge Ends Comments
"Really Karen?" Party Board Game Live the life of a 'Karen' as you argue and complain around town with your friends in this hilarious party board game. // Has raised $2,715 of $10,000 so far. (~27%) 2 - 6 43 $30 / $63 Nov 06
13 Monsters: Armed to the Teeth - Battle expansion pack Supercharge your battles with 13 Monsters: Armed to the Teeth, the brand-new expansion pack for 13 Monsters: The game. // Has raised €1,558 of €6,500 so far. (~24%) 2 - 8 37 $30 / €42 Nov 05 bgg #expansion #reprint
Additive Drinking: The Card Game For Drinkers A fast paced and competitive drinking game. Influence your opponents drinking tasks to impossible levels using cards like +1, +4, x2. // Has raised $451 of $500 so far. (~90%) 2 teams 16 $12 / $28 Nov 02
Ambush Epic A semi-cooperative Dungeon game. Lead your hero to the creepy and darkest nook of the dungeon. // Has raised €14,570 of €25,000 so far. (~58%) 1 - 4 309 $42 / €47 Oct 29 bgg #take2
Animal Family A card game for the whole family. It matches animals in different family dynamics, which has rules for both ages 3 - 6 and 6 - 10. // Has raised $1 of $5,000 so far. (~0%) ? 1 $12 / $1 Dec 06
ANiMOZ - The trading card game of Australian animals The game changing conservation. Come be a Ranger! // Has raised A$12,836 of A$5,900 so far. (~218%) ☑ 1 - 4+ 198 $11 / A$65 Oct 31
Blood & Plunder: Raise the Black Golden age pirates join the world of Blood & Plunder as we move into the 18th century! // Has raised $220,954 of $120,000 so far. (~184%) ☑ 2 1133 $50 / $195 Nov 04 bgg #expansion #reprint
Bluffy pirates An extremely fun, highly competitive, strategic party game, suited for groups from 4 to 6 people. // Has raised €862 of €5,000 so far. (~17%) 4 - 6 25 $19 / €34 Oct 26
Card Bard A highly thematic card game where players take up the mantle of the bard! // Has raised $4,182 of $12,000 so far. (~35%) 2 - 4 70 $38 / $60 Nov 05 bgg
Cartographers Heroes + 3 Map Pack Expansions The stand-alone follow up to the critically acclaimed map-drawing game - Cartographers: A Roll Player Tale. // Has raised $218,516 of $20,000 so far. (~1093%) ☑ 1 - 100 4073 $22 / $54 Oct 23 bgg
Cooking Customers - Play Cards, Roll Dice & Don't Get Fired! Cooking Customers is a "stick it to your competition" card and dice game where you play cards, roll dice and try not to get fired! // Has raised $22 of $100 so far. (~22%) 2 - 10 3 $15 / $7 Oct 24 bgg #take2
Dice Command A semi-abstract tactical wargame for 2-4 players with dice action selection and engine building! // Has raised C$10169 of C$7000 so far. (~145%) ☑ 2 - 4 183 $35 / C$56 Nov 05
DICTATOR-Y LITTLE BITCH: A Cooperative Card/Board Game Team up with intelligent life forms from all over the Universe to resist the DICTATOR-Y LITTLE B!†₵Ħ before he totally Fµ₵кs the WORLD. // Has raised $1,357 of $13,000 so far. (~10%) 2 - 6 22 $34 / $62 Nov 02
Disciples - The Immoral Game of Cults and Consequences Start a cult! Perform ridiculous rituals, collect disciples and forget your morals in this fun global strategy tabletop game. // Has raised $2,653 of $3,333 so far. (~80%) 2 - 4 35 $38 / $76 Oct 30 bgg
Do You Realize How Much? An engaging, fun and surprising card game about our human footprint // Has raised €5,721 of €6,000 so far. (~95%) ? 145 $18 / €39 Nov 11
Dungeon Decorators A new tile-drafting light strategy game from the makers of The Red Dragon Inn! // Has raised $26,777 of $40,000 so far. (~67%) 2 - 4 476 $39 / $56 Oct 29 bgg
Dungeon Drop: Dropped Too Deep and Tavern Tales Prepare to drop deeper with an epic expansion to the premier "drop-style" tabletop game. Then complete your story with Tavern Tales! // Has raised $143,731 of $14,500 so far. (~991%) ☑ varies 2357 $16 / $61 Oct 29 bgg #expansion
Eternal Eight A Miniature War game with True 3D Castles and Villages! // Has raised $1,855 of $100,000 so far. (~2%) 1 - 4 19 $89 / $98 Nov 09
EvenQuads A new card deck, and five new games, featuring the biographies of women mathematicians through history. // Has raised $6,043 of $3,000 so far. (~201%) ☑ 1 - ? 146 $18 / $41 Nov 19
Fearsome Wilderness: the board game & miniatures collection a tabletop gaming experience crafted for gamers, hobbyists, and horror fans alike. // Has raised $17,390 of $10,000 so far. (~174%) ☑ 1 - 4 289 $49 / $60 Nov 05 bgg
Filibust! Party Card Game A party card game full of laughter; just don't let it out! You and your friends must keep a straight face saying your whacky lines. // Has raised $587 of $10,000 so far. (~6%) 3 - 8 10 $25 / $59 Dec 08
Frostpunk: The Board Game A city-survival game where heat means life and every decision comes at a cost. From the designers of Nemesis and This War of Mine: TBG. // Has raised €1,093,059 of €200,000 so far. (~547%) ☑ 1 - 4 9962 $89 / €110 Oct 28 bgg
Gun and Gun A fast-paced competitive card game featuring action-packed 1v1 duels and a two-deck draft system, brought to you straight from Japan. // Has raised $27,313 of $10,000 so far. (~273%) ☑ 2 438 $30 / $62 Oct 22 bgg
Herbaceous - Pocket Edition A new, compact version of Herbaceous that's just as relaxing and beautiful as the original // Has raised $18,466 of $4,500 so far. (~410%) ☑ 1 - 4 925 $15 / $20 Oct 19 bgg #newedition
Hey Doc, A adult party game for health care workers, students and anyone who finds bodily functions humerus! // Has raised $12,005 of $11,000 so far. (~109%) ☑ 3+ 269 $35 / $45 Nov 01 #take2 #lolwut
Hidden Society of the Gnomes: Great Invasion Gnomes are taking over the world! The invasion is inevitable! Will they succeed, or will the human race prevail? The choice is yours! // Has raised €222 of €60,000 so far. (~0%) 2 4 $47 / €56 Dec 08 #hmm
High Rise: The UltraPlastic Edition The tabletop board game about construction and corruption, now with gorgeous plastic buildings // Has raised $49,273 of $50,000 so far. (~99%) 1 - 4 706 $5 / $70 Oct 29 bgg #newedition #expansion
Jack Rabbit JAM: Battle Roulette A casino-style 1v1 game of strategy and luck, inspired by classic arcade fighters. // Has raised £83 of £777 so far. (~11%) 2 13 $10 / £6 Oct 28
Journey to Ecrya: A roleplay-driven board game Play as 1 of 8 unique heroes and embark on a dangerous journey through a rich fantasy landscape in this 2 to 4 players game. // Has raised €2,180 of €13,000 so far. (~17%) 2 - 4 53 $30 / €41 Nov 10 bgg
King of the West A quick Weird West area-control card game that fits in your pocket. Only $9! // Has raised $2,169 of $3,500 so far. (~62%) 2 - 9 86 $9 / $25 Nov 03 bgg
Mighty Armies: Invasion The dead have risen! The living must form armies as they combat the forces of foul necromancers. Welcome to Invasion. // Has raised $1,441 of $500 so far. (~288%) ☑ 2? 22 $10 / $66 Oct 18
MUD: A Political Card Game The dirty game of American elections. // Has raised $19,427 of $12,000 so far. (~162%) ☑ 2 - 6 394 $25 / $49 Nov 02 bgg
NOONGK - the future is already here! Harness the power of technologies and leverage them as a tool to achieve the sustainable development agenda. // Has raised €182 of €30,000 so far. (~1%) ? 5 $35 / €36 Nov 11 #hmm
Pocket Paragons 3-minute Asymmetrical Duel // Has raised $11,591 of $8,000 so far. (~145%) ☑ 2 214 $20 / $54 Nov 05 bgg
Prosperitea A simple and elegant card game about blending, selling, and trading loose leaf tea. From the studio that brought you Cantankerous Cats! // Has raised $3,714 of $20,000 so far. (~19%) 3 - 6 95 $29 / $39 Nov 02 bgg
Rainbow Unicorn Rescue Rainbow Unicorn Rescue is a true family board game; created by two young sisters and brought to life with a little help from dad. // Has raised $4,046 of $5,000 so far. (~81%) 2 - 4 56 $30 / $72 Nov 01
Random Fun Generator, Dice Games from Steve Jackson Games A collection of over twenty dice games from Steve Jackson Games! Use any existing six-sided dice, or play using our many custom dice!!! // Has raised $79,119 of $500 so far. (~15824%) ☑ varies 3166 $15 / $25 Oct 12
Rathskellers Modular Table : For Dining, Gaming & RPG's Rathskellers' 1st kickstarter project ! Presenting Sunnygeeks: A truly epic & modular table for Dining, Gaming & RPGs. // Has raised €269,740 of €100,000 so far. (~270%) ☑ - 231 $1182 / €1,168 Nov 12 #bling
Reputation: The Game of Fame A scandalous card game about your journey to superstardom. // Has raised A$1,155 of A$1,500 so far. (~77%) ? 25 $18 / A$46 Nov 02
ROTTEN MINIATURES MMXX Resin miniatures in dark fantasy style for players, collectors, and painters. // Has raised €4,486 of €2,500 so far. (~179%) ☑ - 79 $10 / €57 Nov 07 #minis
RPG Battles: The Card Game The easiest roleplaying, cards, and strategy game ever! Based on the mechanics of the Pathfinder RPG, without the complication. #TTRPG // Has raised $961 of $1,000 so far. (~96%) 2 - 6 31 $15 / $31 Nov 06 bgg
Sig: City of Blades Cosmopolitan Planar Fantasy, Forged in the Dark // Has raised C$15246 of C$10000 so far. (~152%) ☑ ? 354 $19 / C$43 Oct 30 #rpg
Solid Oak Dice Tower Evolution Dice tower / tray / storage combo // Has raised £1,605 of £400 so far. (~401%) ☑ - 26 $39 / £62 Oct 29 #bling
Spindlewheel A tarot-like interpretive storytelling game where you weave a story from card to card. // Has raised $19,970 of $5,000 so far. (~399%) ☑ ? 321 $35 / $62 Nov 07 #rpg
Studies in Sorcery Studies in Sorcery is an engine building and drafting game for 1-4 players about getting your master's degree in the dark arts. // Has raised $16,327 of $5,900 so far. (~277%) ☑ 1 - 4 545 $19 / $30 Oct 29 bgg
Takkure, a cyberpunk rugby game In a violent cyberpunk universe, the players take on the role of coaches to lead teams of 4 players. // Has raised €19,734 of €13,000 so far. (~152%) ☑ 2 282 $77 / €70 Oct 25 bgg
The Conquistadors A game simulating the Spanish conquest of the Americas from 1518-1548 // Has raised $6,373 of $2,500 so far. (~255%) ☑ 1 - 5 80 $64 / $80 Oct 27 bgg
The Sleepover A lightly horror themed family friendly co-op board game. Where you have to restore power to the house before the Boogeyman gets you. // Has raised $2,569 of $27,000 so far. (~10%) 2 - 6 32 $45 / $80 Nov 06
Time Vault Soccer - The football card game A 2 player starter pack and expansion for the original Time Vault Soccer "Debut" set - with added World Cup-ness. // Has raised £613 of £1,000 so far. (~61%) 2 - 6 14 $27 / £44 Nov 05 bgg #expansion #newedition
To The Moon And Back A fun and highly tactical board game where in up to six players compete against eachother as intergalactic parcel couriers. // Has raised €3,724 of €20,000 so far. (~19%) 2 - 6 68 $48 / €55 Nov 05
TorKings: The World's Greatest Strategic Alignment Game UNTAMED and UNLEASHED - The genre's EXTREME UPGRADE of gameplay and hardware is here. // Has raised A$38,686 of A$5,000 so far. (~774%) ☑ 2 - 6 406 $39 / A$95 Oct 27 bgg
Truth or lie, do you know your friends? The boardgame where you will have to discover if your friends are lying or telling the truth, with the most intimate questions // Has raised €322 of €2,200 so far. (~15%) ? 8 $24 / €40 Nov 03
Unforgiven: The Lincoln Assassination Trial Relive one of the most famous trials in US history--a tense, tabletop duel where you sway a jury & a nation for swift justice. // Has raised $22,177 of $7,999 so far. (~277%) ☑ 2 373 $29 / $59 Oct 31 bgg
WOKE UP! “There is no such thing as a single issue struggle"Audre Lorde (Black, Lesbian, Mother, Warrior) // Has raised £1 of £4,600 so far. (~0%) 2 - 6 1 $20 / £1 Nov 04
Yonder: A Fantasy Tabletop Roleplaying Game Refugees from a cataclysm venture into a magical land where they are transformed as they reveal their inner nature. // Has raised C$8192 of C$6000 so far. (~137%) ☑ ? 176 $19 / C$47 Nov 01 #rpg
You Don't Know Me: The Friendship Party Game Testing friendships since 2020. // Has raised C$2957 of C$8000 so far. (~37%) 3 - 6+ 36 $19 / C$82 Nov 05

Need moar Kickstarter goodness?

Check out...

Footnotes

Tip Jar

These lists take time and money to put together. Not a lot, but a little. If you enjoy them, maybe toss me a buck now and then. Signing up for a free AirTable account via my referral link can help, too. Plus, it's swell!
submitted by Zelbinian to boardgames [link] [comments]

Kickstarter Roundup: Feb 9, 2020 | 20+ Ending Soon (including: Here to Slay) & 30+ New This Week (including: PARKS Expansion: Nightfall + PARKS Memories)

What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:
All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info Players Backers Min / Avg Pledge Ends Comments
Shifting Realms: Darkness Revealed Shifting Realms: Darkness Revealed is an expansion to Soaring Rhino's flagship game Shifting Realms. // Has raised $3,880 of $2,000 so far. (~194%) ☑ 2 - 4 114 $25 / $34 Feb 11 kicktraq #expansion #reprint
Here to Slay A strategic role-playing fantasy card game from the creators of Unstable Unicorns. // Has raised $2,453,236 of $10,000 so far. (~24532%) ☑ 2 - 6 30420 $20 / $81 Feb 11 kicktraq bgg
Island Siege Anniversary Edition This is your chance to upgrade your APE Games classic with deluxe components and 4-player support. // Has raised $12,940 of $19,000 so far. (~68%) 2 - 4 262 $29 / $49 Feb 11 kicktraq bgg #newedition
Jurassic Parts Collect dinosaur fossils & assemble them into complete sets in this area control game for 2-4 players. // Has raised $23,549 of $10,000 so far. (~235%) ☑ 2 - 4 866 $29 / $27 Feb 12 kicktraq bgg
Crimes in History: H. H. Holmes' Murder Castle A game of backstabbing and thrilling absurdities! Collect evidence and battle each other across a sprawling castle for 2-6 players! // Has raised $50,530 of $27,663 so far. (~182%) ☑ 2 - 6 826 $49 / $61 Feb 12 kicktraq bgg
All Time Franchise Team Sets for the Pine Tar Baseball Game This project introduces the 30 all time franchise teams to the Pine Tar Baseball game. Each team will have 31 players, and an announcer // Has raised $915 of $400 so far. (~228%) ☑ 1 - 2 21 $16 / $44 Feb 12 kicktraq #expansion
DVG - Warfighter Battle Packs #2 A collection of Warfighter Expansions from different Eras! // Has raised $33,138 of $10,000 so far. (~331%) ☑ 1 - 6 365 $18 / $91 Feb 12 kicktraq bgg #expansion
Arcane Alley: Moonstruck Market Sell your goods in this wolfish expansion to the black magic market's tableau and set collection game. // Has raised $12,994 of $7,500 so far. (~173%) ☑ 2 - 6 286 $19 / $45 Feb 12 kicktraq bgg #expansion #reprint
Tortuga 2199 Build a crew, hunt space monsters, become a pirate king. A deck-building and area-control game for 2-4 aspiring space pirates. // Has raised $114,754 of $35,000 so far. (~327%) ☑ 2 - 4 1799 $59 / $64 Feb 13 kicktraq bgg
Pineapple: A Visceral Truth or Lie Game Ask deep questions, reach the sweet core of your inner feelings, and find some liars. "Make100" gold metal fruit available! // Has raised $2,581 of $1,000 so far. (~258%) ☑ 3 - 11 237 $8 / $11 Feb 13 kicktraq
It's a Wonderful World Ascension The "Ascension" expansion for It's a Wonderful World. // Has raised €328,499 of €20,000 so far. (~1642%) ☑ 1 - 6 6570 $25 / €50 Feb 13 kicktraq bgg #expansion #reprint #dicetowerpick
The Rival Networks A 2-player version of the tabletop board game The Networks. // Has raised $33,774 of $20,000 so far. (~168%) ☑ 2 - 2 899 $25 / $38 Feb 14 kicktraq bgg
Harvest Fair Board Game A quick to play family game – grow your crops, then win trophies at the end-of-year Harvest Fair! // Has raised £531 of £250 so far. (~212%) ☑ 2 - 4 26 $20 / £20 Feb 14 kicktraq
Enchanters: East Quest Play an Enchanter and protect your village from monsters in this 1-4 player card-drafting game by forging infinite combos of Artifacts! // Has raised $175,461 of $30,000 so far. (~584%) ☑ 1 - 4 2752 $30 / $64 Feb 14 kicktraq bgg
CUT AND PLAY - collection of free micro games : Season 2 10 free micro games each made from a single sheet of cardboard ! // Has raised €1,660 of €1,000 so far. (~166%) ☑ 1 - 2 217 $6 / €8 Feb 14 kicktraq
Neko Neko Cafe - The Board Game Welcome to Neko Neko Cafe, a fast-paced resource management game where you compete with friends to serve delicious treats to customers. // Has raised $5,662 of $8,500 so far. (~66%) ? - ? 70 $37 / $81 Feb 15 kicktraq
Prohibitionists A light, co-op card game about taking down the Mob in Prohibition-era Lake City. // Has raised $5,538 of $4,000 so far. (~138%) ☑ 1 - 5 176 $20 / $31 Feb 16 kicktraq bgg
Puns of Anarchy The game of rapid-fire pun-making! No bands, movies, or famous things are safe from becoming hilarious wordplay. // Has raised $117,147 of $10,000 so far. (~1171%) ☑ 3 - 99 3259 $33 / $36 Feb 16 kicktraq
Potato Pirates 2: Enter The Spudnet A board game on cybersecurity and computer networking // Has raised $211,022 of $15,000 so far. (~1406%) ☑ 3 - 6 2303 $52 / $92 Feb 16 kicktraq bgg
Forsaken Forest: Spirit Uprising - Reincarnation The Ethereal Expansion to the Social-Deduction Expandable-Card-Game // Has raised $7,106 of $10,000 so far. (~71%) 4 - 12 169 $19 / $42 Feb 16 kicktraq bgg #expansion #reprint
CHANCELLORSVILLE 1863 Playable in 1 hour. For 1 to 2 players. Innovative Civil War game with hidden movement, solitaire game engine, using military maps. // Has raised $17,710 of $2,500 so far. (~708%) ☑ 1 - 2 205 $64 / $86 Feb 16 kicktraq bgg

New This Week

Project Info Players Backers Min / Avg Pledge Ends Comments
Aeon's End: Outcasts A cooperative deck-building game of post-apocalyptic fantasy survival for 1-4 players. // Has raised $252,525 of $40,000 so far. (~631%) ☑ 1 - 4 2666 $69 / $95 Feb 28 bgg
Bar Crawl A drinking game to play for a night of fun you won’t remember in the morning. // Has raised $272 of $10,000 so far. (~2%) ? - ? 5 $50 / $54 Mar 07 #lolwut
Catch the Letch Cats' Invasion "Catch the Letch Cats' Invasion" is a little expansion for the game "Catch the Letch" made for the kickstarter event "make 100" // Has raised €261 of €400 so far. (~65%) ? - ? 14 $22 / €19 Mar 05 #expansion
CUT AND PLAY - collection of free micro games : Season 2 10 free micro games each made from a single sheet of cardboard ! // Has raised €1,660 of €1,000 so far. (~166%) ☑ 1 - 2 217 $6 / €8 Feb 14
Cyclone! Board Game A board game where players can rotate the board to steal the winning color! // Has raised $2,003 of $603,900 so far. (~0%) ? - ? 4 $NA / $501 Feb 09 #lolwut
Danger Park Danger Park is a light-weight map-building tabletop game about sabotage, fraud, and destruction for 2-4 players. // Has raised $12,520 of $19,000 so far. (~65%) 2 - 4 143 $45 / $88 Feb 29 bgg
Dawn of Empire A war-game centered on the naval aspects of the Spanish-American War of 1898. // Has raised $3,267 of $2,000 so far. (~163%) ☑ 2 - 2 46 $45 / $71 Mar 05
Deep State: New World Order A game of global conspiracies from the creators of Space Explorers. Seize the reins of power and become the secret ruler of the world! // Has raised $7,882 of $7,500 so far. (~105%) ☑ 2 - 4 139 $35 / $57 Feb 27 bgg
Dr Mike's Times Table Board Game A Board Game to help make times tables practice fun! // Has raised $548 AUD of $1,250 AUD so far. (~43%) ? - ? 9 $34 / $61 AUD Mar 18
Enchanters: East Quest Play an Enchanter and protect your village from monsters in this 1-4 player card-drafting game by forging infinite combos of Artifacts! // Has raised $175,461 of $30,000 so far. (~584%) ☑ 1 - 4 2752 $30 / $64 Feb 14 bgg
For Glory: The Game of Gladiator Combat and Deck Building Build your gladiator school and clash against your opponent in deep tactical combat in the arenas of ancient Rome! // Has raised $33,764 of $22,500 so far. (~150%) ☑ 2 - 2 650 $39 / $52 Mar 05 bgg
Forest Fighters Squirrels harvesting acorns for the winter and the resulting woodland mayhem that prospect causes! // Has raised $1,053 of $500 so far. (~210%) ☑ 2 - 5 28 $30 / $38 Mar 20 #take2
Frutticola A small town in the US in the '50s, who will be able to produce and sell the best jams by the Christmas sale? // Has raised €18,622 of €10,000 so far. (~186%) ☑ 2 - 4 468 $32 / €40 Feb 26 bgg
Gray Eminence A 3 to 5 player board game about global intrigue, politics, bluffing and questionable morality. // Has raised $6,035 of $6,000 so far. (~100%) ☑ 3 - 5 99 $37 / $61 Feb 20 bgg
High Roller Horse Racing a genre-blazing game that merges Game Night with Casino Night and features 8 of America's greatest racehorses ever! // Has raised $1,993 of $12,000 so far. (~16%) 4 - 8 38 $34 / $52 Mar 04 bgg
Kaiju Exchange A resource management game pitting 1-4 players + 1 Automaton against one other and getting rich by trading monster parts. // Has raised $8,269 of $12,888 so far. (~64%) 1 - 4 123 $31 / $67 Mar 05 bgg #take2
Kanban: EV The Deluxe Edition of Vital Lacerda's acclaimed efficiency eurogame with all new art from Ian O'Toole // Has raised $426,191 of $100,000 so far. (~426%) ☑ 2 - 4 4321 $99 / $99 Feb 21 bgg #newedition
King Arthur's Vortex Chess Vortex Chess is a tactical Chess-like game, set in Arthurian Mythology. Merlin Ambrosius defending Camelot against Medraut ap Lot. // Has raised £992 of £999 so far. (~99%) 2 - 2 39 $38 / £25 Feb 26 bgg
Meilenstein You make the first move. // Has raised €257 of €10,000 so far. (~2%) 2 - 4 7 $55 / €37 Apr 03
PARKS Expansion: Nightfall + PARKS Memories Celebrate the US National Parks with a new expansion for PARKS & a trio of Strategic Matching games featuring Fifty-Nine Parks art. // Has raised $322,378 of $43,600 so far. (~739%) ☑ 1 - 5 5638 $NA / $57 Feb 25 bgg #expansion
Sererial Fantasy Tactics A table top war game style of board game, with options for quick play, or rpg elements for deeper longer play. // Has raised $2 of $28,000 so far. (~0%) ? - ? 2 $30 / $1 Apr 05
Spotting A card game aims at training attention, reaction and observation with the theme of Hong Kong's traditional food. // Has raised HK$20 of HK$40,000 so far. (~0%) 1 - 4 2 $20 / HK$10 Mar 06
Stampede It’s simple: pick an animal and attempt to survive the Stampede by outsmarting and outracing your friends. Plus cute artwork. // Has raised $3,954 of $10,000 so far. (~39%) 2 - 4 87 $40 / $45 Feb 18
Storm Dragons - Deluxified Edition with 6-player Expansion Trick-taking - only more. Card drafting, hand management and dragon abilities add strategy. Surprise your foes by changing game state. // Has raised $1,877 of $6,600 so far. (~28%) 2 - 6 53 $19 / $35 Mar 08 bgg #newedition #expansion
take root- perennial edition a tabletop farming game featuring dungeon crawling, dating, and a chance to win the harvest festival // Has raised $618 of $400 so far. (~154%) ☑ 2 - 2 39 $15 / $16 Feb 17 bgg #take2
Tanares Adventures + Arena: the Contest 1.5 A massive expansion for 100+ total hours of co-op content, a second print with reworked miniatures, and a legendary Dragon Collection. // Has raised $1,034,561 of $50,000 so far. (~2069%) ☑ 1 - 8 5289 $69 / $196 Feb 27 bgg #expansion #newedition
The Lost Worlds of Josh Kirby A Space Opera board game featuring worlds created by the famed sci-fi illustrator Josh Kirby // Has raised $20,993 of $8,000 so far. (~262%) ☑ 2 - 5 249 $45 / $84 Mar 06 bgg
The Museum Tour Playset The Museum Tour Playset is a playset designed to bring the art museum experience right into your home! Great for ages 2-7! // Has raised $12,433 of $10,000 so far. (~124%) ☑ ? - ? 154 $40 / $81 Mar 05
The Runelords Board Game A board game for 1-4 players based in the world of the best-selling fantasy series The Runelords by David Farland. // Has raised $13,364 of $70,000 so far. (~19%) 1 - 4 208 $70 / $64 Mar 04 bgg
Tinderblox & Kittin Two different mint-tin dexterity games for every type of gamer! Includes a Kickstarter exclusive version for Tinderblox! // Has raised £20,190 of £5,500 so far. (~367%) ☑ ? - ? 1119 $13 / £18 Feb 27
Tramways Adelaide Shanghai Tramways: Adelaide / Shanghai expansion: two exotic maps for avid gamers // Has raised $16,740 of $3,000 so far. (~558%) ☑ 1 - 5 444 $65 / $38 Feb 29 bgg #expansion
Valiant Wars A press-your-luck battle for the Valiant Throne! // Has raised $1,895 of $12,000 so far. (~15%) 2 - 5 51 $30 / $37 Feb 20 bgg
Vampire: The Masquerade – CHAPTERS A thrilling co-op adventure set in the World of Darkness. An unforgettable story-driven board game for 1-4 players. // Has raised $966,280 CAD of $250,000 CAD so far. (~386%) ☑ 1 - 4 4496 $112 / $215 CAD Feb 28 bgg
Wishland Wishland is a worker placement eurogame for 2-4 players and 75 minutes of duration. // Has raised €36,474 of €10,000 so far. (~364%) ☑ 2 - 4 688 $49 / €53 Feb 25 bgg
YOHEI An amazing skirmish game in an oriental fantasy setting. Lead legendary heroes into epic battles between asymmetric clans. // Has raised €15,421 of €5,000 so far. (~308%) ☑ 2 - 4 367 $50 / €42 Feb 20 bgg #take2
Zombie Pile-Up The fastest player wins, go head to head against your friends in a frantic race to get the most zombie kills and get the highest score. // Has raised £768 of £1,000 so far. (~76%) 2 - 2 34 $19 / £23 Mar 06

Need moar Kickstarter goodness?

Check out...

Footnotes

Tip Jar

If you enjoy these lists, maybe toss me a buck now and then. Signing up for a free AirTable account via my referral link can help, too. Plus, it's swell!
submitted by Zelbinian to boardgames [link] [comments]

[H] A Ton of Bundle Games (IndieGala, Humble, and Fanatical) [W] Nov. Humble Monthly Games (Not Darksiders III or Yakuza Kiwami)

I already own Darksiders III and Yakuza Kiwami 2, so I figured I'd just skip this month and trade for the other games on here. I haven't updated my list in a long time, so there may be one or two games that I don't have anymore, but I still own most of them. So far, the games I'm looking for are:
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
Crying Suns
Darksburg
Little Misfortune
Smile for Me
Darkwood
Tsioque
Rover Mechanic Simulator
Youropa
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt

The ones that I have for trade are:

Humble Gift Link -

The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day

Knights of Pen and Paper 1+2 Collection

Road Redemption

This War of Mine

Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit

Torchlight

Torchlight II

The First Tree

One Deck Dungeon

Skybolt Zack

Golf With Your Friends - OST

Codex of Victory

Conglomerate 451

Deep Sky Derelicts

Gift of Parthax

Haimrik

Quantum Replica

Re-Legion

Shiny

Through the Woods

The Inner World

Pixel Heroes Byte & Magic

Safety First!

SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell

The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia + Soundtrack

Vambrace: Cold Soul Soundtrack

Vampyr

AER Memories of Old

Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth

State of Mind

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War III

Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach

Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

Batman - The Telltale Series

Batman: The Enemy Within - The Telltale Series

Oxenfree

The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead - 400 Days

The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries

The Walking Dead: Season Two

Astebreed Definitive Edition

LiEat

Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae

Momodora: Reverie Under The Moonlight

GET EVEN

Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics

Mysterium: A Psychic Clue Game

Small World 2

Splendor

Twilight Struggle

Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father

Black The Fall

Children of Zodiarcs

Deadbeat Heroes

Forgotton Anne

Goetia

Tokyo Dark

The Turing Test

Train Valley 2

A Good Snowman is Hard to Build

A Mortician's Tale

Alien Spidy

Broken Age

Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons

Brutal Legend

Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition

Darksiders Warmastered Edition

DUCATI - 90th Anniversary

Europa Universalis IV

Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered

GNOG

Hacknet

HIVESWAP: Act 1

Hollow Knight

LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham

Lostwinds

Magicka

Music Maker EDM Edition

PAC-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2

Party Hard

Pikuniku

Psychonauts

Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville

Sniper Elite 3

Speed Brawl

Stealth 2: A Game of Clones

Stick Fight: The Game

Super Hexagon

SUPERHOT

This is the Police

Tilt Brush

Tropico 4

Undertale

VVVVVV

World of Goo

Worms Revolution

Zombotron

Dead Rising 4

Devil May Cry 4: Special Edition

RESIDENT EVIL 2 - All In-game Rewards Unlock

STRIDER

Reigns

Reigns: Her Majesty

Equilinox

MagiCat

Samorost 3

1 Screen Platformer

A Glider's Journey

Adventure Boy Cheapskate DX

Animal Super Squad

Anomaly 2

Anomaly Defenders

Anomaly Korea

Anomaly: Warzone Earth

Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign

Artemis: God-Queen of the Hunt

Balancelot

Bastion

Cathedral

Chivalry: Medieval Warfare

Clatter

Dead by Daylight - Of Flesh and Mud

Dead by Daylight - Spark of Madness

Deadlight: Director's Cut

Dino Run DX

Downtown Drift

Draw Your Game

Drink More Glurp Jingle Jam Challenge

Invisible Inc.

Kalaban

Kingdom: New Lands

Motorsport Manager

Must Dash Amigos

Nemo Dungeon

Neverwinter: Vestments of the Wind Pack

Ninja Senki DX

PAC-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2

Potatoman Seeks the Troof

Pumped BMX +

Rapture Rejects

Rebound Dodgeball Evolved

Red Horizon

Rogue Rocks

Scanner Sombre

Songs of Skydale

Stories: The Path of Destinies

Super Chicken Catchers

THE TEAR

YORG.io

Chasm

Fluffy Horde

Regular Human Basketball

Fairy Fencer F: Advent Dark Force Complete Deluxe Set

Megatagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies (Neptunia)

Moero Chronicle

Neptunia Shooter

Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls

Trillion: God of Destruction

Beckett

Everything

Rusty Lake Hotel

The Stanley Parable

Thomas Was Alone

Yume Nikki

YUMENIKKI -DREAM DIARY-

Game Character Hub PE: DS Generator Parts

Game Character Hub PE: Second Story

Game Character Hub: Portfolio Edition

RPG Maker MV

RPG Maker MV - GENE

RPG Maker MV - MADO

RPG Maker MV - SAKAN

RPG Maker VX

RPG Maker VX Ace

RPG Maker XP

Visual Novel Maker + Live 2D

Evergarden

Shenmue I & II

SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising

Bridge Constructor Portal

Portal Knights

SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell

Staxel

Tricky Towers

When Ski Lifts Go Wrong

Planet Alpha

Puss!

The Spiral Scouts

Cat Quest

HIVESWAP: Act 1

Immortal Planet

Pillars of Eternity

Tyranny - Standard Edition

Carrier Command: Gaea Mission

Pound of Ground

Take On Helicopters

Take on Mars

Ylands

Distance

God's Trigger

Guacamelee! 2

MOTHERGUNSHIP

DISTRAINT 2

Rusty Lake Paradise

Unexplored

The Adventure Pals

Almost There: The Platformer

Yoku's Island Express

60 Parsecs!

Love is Dead

Road Redemption

Clustertruck

Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor

Party Hard

Punch Club

SpeedRunners

Duskers

Paratopic

Pool Panic

Red Faction Guerilla Re-Mars-tered

Black The Fall

Octahedron

The Turing Test

I'm not a Monster

Wandersong

11-11 Memories Retold

Impact Winter

Little Nightmares

PAC-MAN™ Championship Edition DX+

Project CARS

Genital Jousting

Highway Blossoms

Just Deserts

Purrfect Date

Sunrider Academy

Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition

Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

Tooth and Tail

Dandara

MINIT

Steel Rats

12 is Better Than 6

BLACKHOLE

Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!

Kingsway

kuso

Soft Body

Way of the Passive Fist

Slipstream

Dear Esther: Landmark Edition

GoNNER

Headlander

Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth

Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun

Bleed 2

Rapture Rejects

Rock of Ages 2: Bigger and Boulder

Sniper Elite 3

Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition

Worms Clan Wars

Animal Super Squad

Anomaly 2

Anomaly Defenders

Anomaly: Warzone Earth

Blade & Bones

Board Battlefield

Clicker bAdventure

Cloudborn

Convoy

Cube Link

Deep Dungeons of Doom

Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon

Don't Stand Out

Dungeon Escape

Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered

Flux8

Freaky Awesome

Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition

Hackyzack

The Haunting of Billy

Hello Pollution!

Hyperdrive Massacre

Indecision.

Kabounce

Lakeview Cabin Collection

Last Encounter

LOVE

Lucius Demake

Marvin's Mittens

Match Point

No Time To Explain Remastered

Race The Sun

R-COIL

Road Doom

Slime-san

Super Steampunk Pinball 2D

Sure Footing

Switchblade Starter Pack

Temple of Xiala

Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit

Tower 57

Tross

Unit 4

Wizorb

Zero G Arena

Colt Express

King and Assassins

Kentucky Route Zero

RWBY: Grimm Eclipse

War for the Overworld + Heart of Gold DLC

The Dwarves

Resident Evil Revelations

Gremlins, Inc.

Old Man's Journey

Pathfinder Adventures

Talisman: Digital Edition

Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics

Talisman: Digital Edition

How to Survive 2

Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition

12 is Better than 6

Bear With Me - Collector's Edition

Dungeon of the Endless

Jalopy

NBA Playgrounds

Action Henk

JYDGE

Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes

Kingdom: New Lands

Laser League

Holy Potatoes! We're In Space?!

Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City

Grand Theft Auto III

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

Filthy, Stinking, Orcs

Sanctum 2

Grey Goo

Sorcerer King: Rivals


Green Man Gaming -

CRUSADER KINGS II

WARHAMMER END TIMES VERMINTIDE

INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US ULTIMATE

THE FLAME IN THE FLOOD

FROZEN SYNAPSE PRIME

BEAT COP

SUPER CLOUDBUILT

THE LITTLE ACRE

INSURGENCY

FEAR 3

DEAD AGE

MAGICKA

SERIAL CLEANER

CASTLEVANIA LORDS OF SHADOW 2

FAHRENHEIT REMASTERED

OPERATION FLASHPOINT RED RIVER

ROCKET KNIGHT

LEGO BATMAN

BIOZONE

ADR1FT


Fanatical -

Autonauts

Guards

How to Take Off Your Mask

ENIGMA:

Garfield Kart

Stronghold Legends: Steam Edition

Styx: Master of Shadows

Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

EARTH'S DAWN

Do Not Feed the Monkeys

Rain World

Shadwen

Syndrome

The Technomancer

Chess Ultra

Arcana Heart 3 LOVE MAX!!!!!

DEAD OR SCHOOL

Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom

XBlaze Code: Embryo

XBlaze Lost: Memories

Duke Nukem Forever

GUILTY GEAR Xrd -REVELATOR-

Party Hard 2

The Walking Dead

This War of Mine

Blood: Fresh Supply

Syberia II

If My Heart Had Wings

LoveKami -Divinity Stage-

LoveKami -Useless Goddess-

The Surge

Dungeons 2

The First Templar - Steam Special Edition

Urban Empire

The Dark Eye: Demonicon

Chronicles of Magic: Divided Kingdoms

Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor

King's Heir: Rise to the Throne

Lost Grimoires 3: The Forgotten Well

My Brother Rabbit

Noir Chronicles: City of Crime

Path of Sin: Greed

Queen's Quest 4: Sacred Truce

Tharsis

Little Big Adventure 2

Return to Mysterious Island 2

Damned

Return to Mysterious Island

Odyssey - The Story of Science

Little Big Adventure - Enhanced Edition

Sanitarium

The Royal Marines Commando

STARBO

Raptor: Call of The Shadows - 2015 Edition

Guns of Icarus Online

Hamsterdam

Gates of Hell

Perfect Heist

Aces of the Luftwaffe

Operation Thunderstorm

Clouds & Sheep 2

Archamon

The Crown of Leaves

HERO DEFENSE

Tales From Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation

Last Dream: World Unknown

The Swindle

Robothorium: Cyberpunk Dungeon Crawler

Equilinox

Rogue Wizards

Codex of Victory

Haimrik

In Fear I Trust

In Fear I Trust - Episode 2

In Fear I Trust - Episode 3

In Fear I Trust - Episode 4

The Watchmaker

The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day

World's Dawn

Extinction

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